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Dating Triumphs and Tragedies
by Nicole Roberge

Dating - A Work in Progress

So I have found myself, this cold March night…ah! You caught me! That’s what I was just going to get into, but you caught me. I said “cold March night.” Whereas yes, evenings in Los Angeles were oddly chilly, but nothing beats the cold I am bearing in Connecticut right now. Through a serious of odd events—medical stuff and the like—I have found myself back home in Connecticut. I am settling in, not so comfortably, and trying to figure out my way and sort things out until I take that next big step in life…whatever that may be.

Yes, due to some medical complications, I returned home to Connecticut to be with my family for recovery, and since it ended up being a lengthier process than I thought, I decided to stay. As a good friend out there told me, “Los Angeles will always be there.” Which I know is true, but it doesn’t make it any easier.

It’s odd when life sneaks up on you and ruins your plans. Not that I don’t love my family and want to spend time with them, but I had some goals out there that I had set for myself and now I just feel like I’ve been plopped down back east and I’m having that “stuck” feeling or that “now what?” syndrome.

So while I’m recouping, I’ve had a lot on my mind. Some view it as an opportunity. “Think of all the possibilities, Nicole!” Me…nope…I’m just bored out of my mind. Yes, I actually have a few writing projects I’m excited to get my hands dirty with, and that will be in the coming month. I’m still trying to settle down with the whirlwind of movement that has just taken place and really… figure out where my place is. But do we ever really know?

We’re always moving and stopping, coming and going — do we ever actually “belong” to a place? Los Angeles was mine for a year and a half, and yes, there were good times, some bad, and mostly, I’m just a little disheartened that I didn’t take advantage of all the things it had to offer. But again…it’ll (cross your fingers) always be there. And I do have plans to go back eventually — whether to visit or stay, who knows? But I do know, as again, that friend told me, that I will always be welcome back, and that is a nice feeling — just feeling welcome somewhere.

And I do feel welcome back here too because it is, after all, where I grew up. But things have change, or actually, they’ve stayed the same. It is the same quiet town I grew up in, and on one hand, I know everyone (my parent’s age, that is) and on the other hand, I know no one (who is dateable). So folks, I think we have a real problem on our hands. What to do with Nicole’s dating life when she’s back in the land o’ cows?

Okay, so you could say,” well Nicole, it was pretty non-existent to being with…” And then we’d have a chuckle and move on….

But seriously. I’m back home. I’m bored. There’s got to be something to do! But I’m gonna tell you, I’m pretty sure an alien came down and zapped every datable person in a 20-mile radius. You’re either five or you're 50. There is no one for me in their 20’s or 30’s — it’s the truth.

And I believe this now… I heard John Mayer, another Connecticut native, say in an interview once, something like : “Connecticut is a great place to be a baby and make a baby, but not so great in between.” And let me tell you, the man is right. And where does he live right now? Not Connecticut, nope. New York? LA? Somewhere…but anywhere but here.

So being back has proved many challenges, but dating especially. First, I have to realize I am back in Connecticut and then de-hermit-ize myself. Second, I have to do a little research to see where the aliens have placed all the datable folk. Third, I have to get in there and size up those datable folk and see which ones the aliens haven’t tainted. Oh, do I have my work cut out for me! I will keep you posted… this is a work in progress. 

Dating Triumphs and Tragedies is published every Sunday by Online Dating Magazine columnist Nicole Roberge. She can be reached at

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