Of
course, it wouldn’t be the first time I did something
just for some guy. There was the time in college when
I let “Snuggles,” the aspiring-Barber,
cut my long locks. Or when I gave some guy tickets
to a show that I really wanted to go to... but
I liked him, and I thought he wanted go more. Well
when
he didn’t take me, I realized I didn’t
care if he wanted to go more, they were my damn tickets.
Why do guys make us do stupid things? And of course
I’ve attended various un-fun events that I pretended
were oh-so-fun just to spend some quality time with
that special someone who turned out to be…not
so special. Talk about wasted time. I could’ve
been spending it at In-N-Out Burger trying to pick
up real men.
Which brings me back to the situation at
hand…
My hot date at In-N-Out Burger.
I’ll admit, not the classiest joint, but
probably the most fun I have had in a long time. And okay, perhaps not technically
a real date. Just an outing... but actually... okay, I won’t skip
ahead.
So I meet him at the burger joint,
and he prepares, excitedly... cutely
and
excitedly... to teach me the ins and outs of In-N-Out Burger.
I’ll admit
it, I’m down with a good burger and fries. But I’m
your basic burger kind of girl. This Animal Style thing was starting to scare
me.
Apparently, Animal Style isn’t so scary. It’s cooked with mustard,
and then has pickles, some spready stuff, and then onions. Mustard’s not
really my thing though.
“You’ll try it, and you’ll like
it,” he informs me.
I whined a little... because
I do that sometimes... and asked what my other
options were. He told me if I was gonna be a baby, I could get the “Grilled
Cheese,” which has no meat—just cheese, tomato, lettuce and spread…all
on the comforts of a bun.
“Can I get it without lettuce?” I asked him.
He ordered two “Animal
Style” burgers. That settled it, I was going
to have to be tough. “I am tough”, I thought, while I contemplated
the low-carb, no-bun option of the lettuce-wrapped “Protein Style” burger.
The
very gentlemanly lad paid for my animalistic meal and we sat down into our
cozy booth. He handed me my burger, and it looked fairly
safe. I hesitated and
he watched avidly.
“You first,” he said.
“I can’t do it if you’re just staring at me,” I told
him. “I’m very self-conscious about these things. If I dribble, that’ll
be the end of it.”
He smirked. “The end of what?”
I panicked. Can’t show interested
too soon. I’m such a girl!
Think quick: “My In-N-Out Burger experiences.
I’ll never be able
to face this place again.”
He nodded and delved into his burger, clearly
satisfied with my not-so-clever response. I took a quick bite. He took a quick
look. I’ve never chewed
so fast in my life. He waited for an answer.
“You know,” I told him. “For
all the ritzy restaurants in LA, I’m thinking... ’Animal
Style’ is really where it’s
at.”
He was very pleased with my satisfaction over the
not-completely-nauseating Burger, and I was very pleased
that I gave the Burger, and him, a chance. Because
I should
mention that Mr. Animal Style is not the typical guy that I would go for. In
fact, he’s a bit like Animal from the Muppets. Just kidding…well,
not really. Okay, I am. But in truth, I wasn’t looking to start dating
anyone, in fact, I think I had completely given up. But he just came along, and
we started talking burgers, and then there we were, and it was so easy and comfortable.
And for the first time, I wasn’t worried about being paranoid over whether
I’d have mustard on my face and what he would think if I did…because
I did…
He handed me a napkin… “Are you always this messy?” he
laughed.
I nodded. “I should
have warned you,” I told him. “Going out
to eat with me is like being with a five year old.”
“Five year olds are cool,” he said. “Maybe this weekend, I’ll
take you to a nicer restaurant…one that has menus for kids to color.”
Then
he smiled and picked at his fries, and I knew that our next meeting would be
a legit date, not just a lesson in burger ordering, and I was okay with that.
More than okay.
Maybe Animal Style isn’t so scary. Maybe I’ll
order my guys that way too.