Dating Tips Through Experience:
When a Man is a Woman

Hello online daters. Well, the first half of August I had dates coming at me left and right, but now it seems to have slowed down and I have emails coming left and right, but nothing too interesting.

I had a great conversation the other day with a very good online friend of mine about one particular dating site that has a women and men chat circle so that women or men can go in and discuss those embarrassing stories or ask questions or just talk in general about things they wouldn't want to talk about around the opposite sex.

Now first and foremost, your profile has to show you as a man or woman to have access to the chat forums. Otherwise you get the big red flag and can't enter. Well, upon a little research by my friend <who is a male> and a few of his friends, they discovered women were sneaking in the men's chat forum. How you may ask? Well, women, being the curious and creative creatures we are, were creating false profiles under the pretense of being a male in order to see what the men were talking about. I just couldn't believe that someone would stoop that low. However, it prompted me to do a little research of my own in the women's chat room upon which I discovered men were doing the same thing!

This began to make me a little worried. I mean, when I'm doing a search and it brings up some of those profiles without pictures, were they really women pretending to be men? Had I ever replied to a
profile under the intention of getting to know a man better only to find myself in contact with another woman?

Now, I have no tips to give you on this as I'm not really sure how you would stop it or discover the person you thought you were talking to is actually the same sex. But it is something to think about when you see a profile with no picture. Buyer beware!!!

The other conversation my friend and I had was about dating someone with children. He has a 2 year old son with Cerebral Pausey and doesn't hide it whatsoever. However, he has come across quite a few women that did have kids but when posting their profiles, somehow forgot they had them because they sure weren't mentioned in the profile.

He began chatting with this one incredibly beautiful woman and after exchanging a few emails and phone numbers they decided to meet. They met at a local pub and had a few drinks, great conversation, in which she never mentioned her children even though he mentioned his son several times. Later, they proceeded to go back to her place. When they arrived at her door he was greeted by a 13 year old girl who ironically bore a striking resemblance to his date. The woman turned to my friend and thanked him for a lovely evening but apologized explaining he couldn't come in because she thought her kids were at their fathers house.

My friend, stunned and confused (and I'm sure disappointed), left not knowing really what to think. He let a few days go by and decided to call her. When he asked why she didn't tell him she had kids her reply was simply, well most men won't date a woman with one child let alone 3 kids. His heart sank as he began to wonder how many more women out there lied like this.

Tip: If you are filling out your profile and you have kids, please be honest enough to note it. If you think that you won't find any dates because you have kids you are very wrong. I know plenty of men and women that will date someone with kids, but they won't date liars. That includes myself. I have no problem with a man having a child or children but don't lie about it. It not only makes you look dishonest and it makes you look like you aren't proud to have children. Don't you think the day is going to come when you have to fess up to it? I think there is no better policy than honesty. And when dating, if you aren't being honest then you aren't being fair to the person that is taking the interest in you.

Good luck online daters. Here's hoping you find that someone special.

Your Online Dating Through Experience columnist is a 29 year old female from the East Coast.

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