Dating Tips Through Experience:
When a Man is a Woman
Hello online daters. Well, the first
half of August I had dates coming at me left and right,
but now it seems to have slowed down and I have emails
coming left and right, but nothing too interesting.
I had a great conversation the other day with a very
good online friend of mine about one particular dating
site that has a women and men chat circle so that women
or men can go in and discuss those embarrassing stories
or ask questions or just talk in general about things
they wouldn't want to talk about around the opposite
sex.
Now first and foremost, your profile has to show you
as a man or woman to have access to the chat forums.
Otherwise you get the big red flag and can't enter.
Well, upon a little research by my friend <who is
a male> and a few of his friends,
they discovered women were sneaking in the men's chat
forum. How you may ask? Well, women, being the curious
and creative creatures
we are, were creating false profiles under the pretense
of being a male in order to see what the men were
talking about. I just couldn't
believe that someone would stoop that low. However,
it prompted me to do a little research of my own in
the women's chat room upon which I discovered men were
doing the same thing!
This began to make me a little
worried. I mean, when I'm doing a search and it brings
up some of those profiles without pictures, were they
really women pretending to be men? Had I ever replied
to a
profile under the intention of getting to know a
man better only to find myself in contact with another
woman?
Now, I have no
tips to give you on this as I'm not really sure how
you would stop it or discover the person you thought
you were talking to is actually the same sex. But it
is something to think about when you see a profile
with no picture. Buyer beware!!!
The other conversation my friend and I had was about
dating someone with children. He has a 2 year old son
with Cerebral Pausey and doesn't hide it whatsoever.
However, he has come across quite a few women that
did have kids but when posting their profiles, somehow
forgot they had them because they sure weren't mentioned
in the profile.
He began chatting with this one incredibly beautiful
woman and after exchanging a few emails and phone numbers
they decided to meet. They met at a local pub and had
a few drinks, great conversation, in which she never
mentioned her children even though he mentioned his
son several times. Later, they proceeded to go back
to her place. When they arrived at her door he was
greeted by a 13 year old girl who ironically bore a
striking resemblance to his date. The woman turned
to my friend and thanked him for a lovely evening but
apologized explaining he couldn't come in because she
thought her kids were at their fathers house.
My friend,
stunned and confused (and I'm sure disappointed),
left not knowing really what to think. He let a few
days go by and decided to call her. When he asked why
she didn't tell him she had kids her reply was simply,
well most men won't date a woman with one child let
alone 3 kids. His heart sank as he began to wonder
how many more women out there lied like this.
Tip: If you are filling out your profile and you have
kids, please be honest enough to note it. If you think
that you won't find any dates because you have kids
you are very wrong. I know plenty of men and women
that will date someone with kids, but they won't
date liars. That includes myself. I have no problem
with a man having a child or children but don't lie
about it. It not only makes you look dishonest and
it makes you look like you aren't proud to have children.
Don't you think the day is going to come when you have
to fess up to it? I think there is no better policy
than honesty. And when dating, if you aren't being
honest then you aren't being fair to the person that
is taking the interest in you.
Good luck online daters. Here's hoping you find that
someone special.
Your Online Dating Through Experience columnist is
a 29 year old female from the East Coast.
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