Dating Tips Through Experience:
Woody and the Wooden Profile
Welcome to the first column of Dating
Tips Through Experience (DTTE)! I would like to start
off telling you about how I got into online dating.
About
a year after high school I ended up dating my best
friend of three years, which lasted two and a half
years and ended with a broken engagement. After a series
of really bad relationships and dates I decided to
try the new craze - Online Dating.
The exploration began as I signed up with my very
own screen name, discovered chat rooms, and discovered
the long list of men ahead that I would encounter.
The first guy I encountered tried to take me on a "cyber
date" as if that was somehow going to impress
me. I mean, I might be new at this but I was far from
impressed with this guy.
Tip: Normally when a man or woman only wants to "cyber" with
you, they are generally have no interest in beginning
any type of relationship with you outside of "cybering".
Another misfortune is that a lot of times when a man
or woman only wants to "cyber" with you,
it's because they are married. This isn't a guarantee
but it is definitely something for you to watch out
for (for more information on married men online,
read this article).
The next guy and I actually ended up living about
30 minutes apart from each other, so we continued talking
for about 3 weeks and then the big day came - the exchange
of phone numbers. Now, to me this was a big deal because
I have always been leery of giving my number out to
men off the net, much less to some guy I'd never even
seen before.
So, Woody <fake name> and I talked for about
a week. In that week Woody gave me a description of
himself: “21 years old, 6'3, short brown hair,
deep brown eyes, and a great smile.” He also
told me he loved to bike ride for a good work out,
loved animals, was a manager at a retail store and
was looking for a serious only relationship. The end
of our last conversation we decided to meet at his
store while he was on duty. The next day, with my
youngest brother in tow, I went to meet Mr. Woody.
We arrived at his place of employment right on time
and as soon as we walked in my brother spots him by
nametag with ease. Good thing this man was wearing
a nametag because he sure didn't match the description
he gave me.
He says “21;” I say he looked “35.”
He says “brown hair;” I say, “barely
has any hair.”
The great smile he told me about? Well I was still
looking for it and I didn't get close enough to find
out his height. Needless to say, I almost ran out of
that store completely discouraged and ready to give
up on dating all together. Lucky for me, I don't give
up that easy.
Tip: Pictures are a wondrous thing, everyone should
offer one but they don't so don't be afraid to ask
for one when they don't. Now you will come across those
people who say you only want the picture because you
don't care about what is on the inside, only what's
on the outside. DO NOT LISTEN TO THESE PEOPLE, because
they are generally the ones with something to hide.
If they don't have a picture and ask you to meet before
they send one, decline and wait until you receive a
picture. If they never send one, you may have saved
yourself a lot of trouble. Also, if they say they will
get you one soon, give them the benefit of the doubt
but ask them to describe themselves in the mean time.
When they do, keep that email or instant message so
when they do (or rather if they do) send you a picture
you can compare it to their description. For some reason,
some of these people seem to think we all suffer from
memory loss and won't remember the description they
previously gave.
Let’s talk about posting pictures for a second.
How can we expect to get a picture if we don't
have one to give? The first thing not to do is post
a picture
of you from high school unless you graduated no
more than a year ago. The general rule of thumb is
to keep
the picture as up to date as possible. I try to
keep it within a one year time frame unless I have
drastically
changed.
If you do not have a scanner or if you do and just
don't know how to use the darn thing, go to your nearest
Kinko's and they will be more than happy to scan it
for you. Also, some dating sites are now offering you
the option to mail the picture in to them and they
will download it for you (i.e. Romantic Planet and
BBWpersonalplus to name a few).
Another idea is to go buy a disposable camera for
about $6.98 and when you turn it in to develop you
are offered the option to purchase the CD for around
$2.00. Now, if you are not computer literate, which
a lot of us aren't, Kodak offers step by step instructions
on their CD's on how to download it and if you still
can't figure it out, well, then maybe posting a picture
or profile isn't the right way to go for you in the
dating world.
Until next time online daters, happy hunting.
Your Online Dating Through Experience columnist is
a 29 year old female from the East Coast.
How has your online dating experience been? Submit
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