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Dating Tips Advice Column:
Who Should Pay for the First Date?

Dear Dating Tips,
I have a date in two days with a girl I met online. Who should pay for the first date? Me? Her? Dutch? ~ A Date with the Wallet

Dear A Date with the Wallet,

A general rule of thumb is that the person who pursues the other is the one that should pay for the date. However, I personally believe that the guy should always at least offer to pay for the first date.

This is a question that has been debated quite a bit in society. Years ago, it was easy. The guy asked and the guy paid. But in today's society, roles are inter-mixed. So you can generally be safe following this rule:

The person who asks the other one out on the first date should be the one to pay.

To keep the situation of "who should pay" from being on your mind during the date, it's generally a good idea to solve it when the date is arranged:

Person asking the other out: "How would you like to get together this Monday night for dinner? My treat."

By solving this dilemma in advance, it creates one less thing to worry about during the date.

Congratulations on your first date with this girl! It would be appropriate for you to offer to pay for the date once the time comes to pay. If she pursued you and insists on paying, then let her. If she says, "let's go dutch" then say, "are you sure, because I don't mind paying for the lovely evening." If she insists, then graciously accept. Note the addition of the compliment when you ask. :-) ~ The Dating Tipster

If you have a question for The Dating Tipster, simply email your question to Most questions are answered within 48 hours and your privacy details (i.e. email address) are always kept confidential and never used for any other purpose).

How has your experience with online dating or relationships been? Take a moment to share your experience! Our readers appreciate being able to read, and learn from, the experiences of people like you.


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