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Dating Tips Advice Column:
Married Man Gave Home Phone Number
What Does that Mean?

Dear Dating Tips,
I met a man online about 7 months ago, and in your one of your article's, you talk about meeting a married man and how secretive he can be in hiding the truth. Well this man I met online did tell me he was married. We talk every chance we can, more so in the evenings or late at night.

I'm not totally clear on this situation, though, because I do have both his home and work number. He recently gave me his work number because I called him there. I do occasionally call his home phone when his wife is either out or in bed.

What I can't understand is why would a married man give a woman both his home and work number and never say to her "not to call it?" What could this mean?

Although I will not tempt to call it, I think of him as a good online companion and what he does is up to him. Does he not fear his wife finding out, or is he simply trying to find a way out of the marriage?

Please help me with this "desperately needed answer". Married men, as a rule "do not" give someone they have never met in person their number. What makes it legitimate for him? And why? What are your thoughts to this? ~ Doesn't Make Sense

Dear Doesn't Make Sense,

Before answering your question, I hope you fully understand what you are getting into. The saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" greatly applies here. It's hard to understand why you would want to pursue anything with this guy. If, by some chance, you ever ended up married to him, you can eventually expect the exact same treatment that his current wife is getting. You deserve and should strive for better than that. Put yourself in his current wife's shoes. It's so easy, sometimes, for us to think of our own needs and desires that we forget to think about those around us and consequences of our actions.

With that out of the way, here's are some possibilities as to why a married man would give you his home phone number (and allow you to call him there):

1) He wants his wife to find out.

2) He lives off the thrill of the danger of being caught.

3) He's planning on getting a divorce soon.

4) He's trying to "get even" with his wife for something.

5) He's dissatisfied with his marriage and is looking for a "way out."

Whatever the reason, it's highly likely that he likes the danger and wants his wife to find out (although he many not admit this to you or even himself). You may want to ask him directly why he gave you his home phone number when he's married.

You may find this situation "exciting" because of all the secrecy and newness, but those emotions will soon change (as they always do with people similar to your situation) to jealousy, resentment, anger, and the full knowledge that this is a man you will never be able to trust.

If you have a question for The Dating Tipster, simply email your question to Most questions are answered within 48 hours and your privacy details (i.e. email address) are always kept confidential and never used for any other purpose.

How has your experience with online dating or relationships been? Take a moment to share your experience! Our readers appreciate being able to read, and learn from, the experiences of people like you.

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