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Dating Tips Advice Column:
From Friends to Lovers


Dear Dating Tips,
I have been going out with a particular man for a couple of months. We have a blast together when we are out. We have both been through a divorce in the past year and a half. However, when we started seeing each other we were going out just as friends. But, here recently my feelings for him have become stronger. I really like him. He does not try to hold my hand or kiss me. Does this mean he only still wants to be friends or do you think he is just taking it slow?~ Wanting More

Dear Wanting,

It's impossible to know what he is thinking or feeling without asking him. Yet some people feel vulnerable in being so direct with such a question because of the perceived implications.

There's three approaches you can take to this:

1) The Direct Approach
This approach is simply asking the person how they feel about you and/or if they ever see things progressing beyond a friendship. The direct approach, although it may make you feel vulnerable, is the best way to get immediate satisfaction in knowing how the other person feels.

2) The Hinting Approach
The hinting approach allows you to drop harmless "hints" or comments and see how the other person reacts. For example:

"I really value our communication. If I was to ever get into a relationship, I hope the person is just like you - thoughtful, handsome, and kind."

There are also hints you can do through actions - "friendly" extended goodbye hug; grabbing his arm when leading him someplace, etc.

3) The Friend Approach
The friend approach goes back to elementary and junior high days when a guy or girl would send their friend over to see if so-and-so liked them. It's likely that you and this guy have some mutual friends. You may want to have one of those friends do some prodding on your behalf to get a general idea of where he sees things going. Now that friend may end up telling him that you like him and sent him/her to get his response. While you may not want that to happen, at least he'll know you like him for more than a friend!

Overall, the best approach is probably the direct approach. But if you feel very uncomfortable with it, you may want to give one of the other two approaches a try. Let me know what happens! ~ The Dating Tipster


If you have a question for The Dating Tipster, simply email your question to Most questions are answered within 48 hours and your privacy details (i.e. email address) are always kept confidential and never used for any other purpose.

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