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Dating Tips Advice Column:
Where Do They Disappear To?

Dear Dating Tips,
I don't know if it is just me, or what, but every time I start talking with someone interesting, they seem to disappear without a trace. What's up with that? What am I doing wrong? ~ Not a Magician

Dear Not a Magician,

Perhaps it will help to know that this is a big problem for the majority of people in the online dating scene, not just you. Because of the anonymous nature of the Internet, people act differently than they would in real life. Instead of doing the honorable thing and telling you why they are no longer communicating, they just disappear without a trace. This can be the cause of quite a bit of frustration until you realize that it happens to everyone, not just you.

In essence, you are not doing anything wrong. And why they just disappear is the million dollar question. Here are just a few of the possible reasons:

1) Many people communicate with multiple matches at the same time. During this time, more matches show up and they start to feel crowded. So they just stop communicating with older matches and keep going with new ones. This shouldn't be considered a loss to you as you learned a lot about the person's personality when they didn't give you the respect of a response as to why they were no longer communicating.

2) When a person finds a "perfect match", he/she may suddenly just stop communicating with others.

3) Ready for this one? One out of every three people using online dating services are married! Many of these people realize they can only take the process so far. When the heat is on, they go away and start new communications with others (or get caught by their spouse and end up in deep trouble).

Not all people are like those listed above. The online dating scene can be frustrating at times, but your true match may be right around the corner. ~ The Dating Tipster

If you have a question for The Dating Tipster, simply email your question to Most questions are answered within 48 hours and your privacy details (i.e. email address) are always kept confidential and never used for any other purpose).

How has your experience with online dating or relationships been? Take a moment to share your experience! Our readers appreciate being able to read, and learn from, the experiences of people like you.


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