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Dating From the Inside Out
by Susan
S. Davis
New
Gender Roles: Metrosexual Men and Independent Women
Gender roles are changing, and could
be one of the reasons why so many people find it difficult
to find and maintain successful relationships. People
appear to be remaining single for longer periods of
time. This could be because it has become difficult,
at times, to understand, accept and deal with, practically,
the new gender roles that society has developed.
Of
course, the various roles of women have gone through
the most dramatic evolution, believed to have changed
more in the last two generations, than in the last
two millenniums. Women have achieved near equality
to men in education, the workplace, and many other
places, thanks to politics, mass media, and urbanization. The sexual revolution
has been instrumental in freeing our minds. Many women
are supporting themselves and raising children, without
the help of a man. The independent woman does not want
to be controlled or told what to do. All of these components,
have ensured that women will never again, be in a junior
position to men, in society, over all.
Just as women’s
roles have changed, so have men’s. Enter “metrosexuality,” which,
according to British journalist Mark Simpson, is the
trait of an urban male of any sexual orientation, who
has a strong aesthetic sense and spends a great amount
of time and money on his appearance and lifestyle. Mr.
Simpson coined the term in 1994 in an article in The
Independent, after writing his book about contemporary
masculine identity Male Impersonators: Men Performing
Masculinity. Simpson described the effect of consumerism
and media proliferation, particularly the men’s
style press, on traditional masculinity [Wikipedia].
Mr. Simpson, in his intriguing article for Salon.com
last year, wrote: "The typical metrosexual is a
young man with money to spend, living in or within easy
reach of a metropolis -- because that's where all the
best shops, clubs, gyms and hairdressers are. He might
be officially gay, straight or bisexual, but this is
utterly immaterial because he has clearly taken himself
as his own love object and pleasure as his sexual preference.
Particular professions, such as modeling, waiting tables,
media, pop music and, nowadays, sport, seem to attract
them but, truth be told, like male vanity products and
herpes, they're pretty much everywhere."
Many
people wonder why dating has appeared, at times, to
become increasingly more complicated. The dating scene
has always been a confusing experience for some, even
resembling a chore, rather than a good time. Lately,
with the advent of the new “metrosexual,” the single world
of large cities has changed, evolving into more complexity.
As a result, society often seems to be advancing into
more chaos, as opposed to settling into the well stationed
roles that our parents, and their descendents, created
for us to follow.
As men have begun to take over some
of the duties that women have always controlled, this
has facilitated a shift from the somewhat rough, rugged
males, to metrosexuality. There are now women working
right alongside these men in the office. Sexually homogenous
advertising has also contributed to the metrosexual
identity. This new male breed can exhibit the following
traits, for starters: matching ensembles for every
occasion, perfect hair, indulges in manicures and pedicures,
and smelling good, too. He can enjoy shopping, the
opera and even watching chick flicks. By all appearances,
one might assume that he is gay, however, it is simply
a man, who is completely in touch with his feminine
side, and comfortable being so.
As the roles we are used to
having filled by the opposite sex shift, the metrosexual
is raising the point of why he has to pay for every
date, open doors and pick a woman up at her door since
women are now so independent and financially equal.
However, these men still enjoy a woman who is domesticated,
will handle the housework, and raise children, just
as their moms did.
The independent woman, however, is somewhat
afraid to give back that independence, only to begin
relying more on a man than herself. Yet, on a certain
level, women desire the manly man who will sweep her
off of her feet and take away all of her problems,
just like daddy did.
These new gender roles have created
a cycle that may only be averted, by trust. The nuclear
family with a hard working father and stay at home
mother, is becoming, essentially, a thing of the past,
except in affluent society, where finances allow more
for the kind of lifestyle of more traditional roles.
For some time now, men and women have been taking on
more equal roles in relationships and families.
According to the
Urban Dictionary, a metrosexual is, in reality, a modern,
enlightened, sort of renaissance man. Secure and confident,
capable and cool, typically well educated and stylish.
Heterosexual with a twist, not gay by any means, but
he probably has a few gay friends, and can easily be
mistaken for gay by rednecks and jock types. Often,
the only straight guy in a fabric store, antique shop,
or the like, who was not dragged there, against his
will, to appease a woman.
A metrosexual may or may
not appeal to everyone – whether women are attracted to
them, or men aspire to be more like them. In any case,
whether society ever becomes comfortable enough to
truly embrace them, remains to be seen.
Susan
S. Davis is a published book author and
writer, currently doing research for a romantic screenplay
she is writing. Her Dating
From The Inside Out column
is published every Tuesday.
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