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Dating From the Inside Out
by Susan S. Davis

Joy Attracts Positive Energy

According to Wikipedia, "Joy" is defined as “the emotional state of being happy. The definition of happiness is one of the greatest philosophical quandaries. Proposed definitions include freedom from want and distress, consciousness of the good order of things, assurance of one's place in the universe or society, inner peace, and so forth.”

In Greek, joy is often translated as “chara,” the root word for charis, or as translated into English, “grace.” The word is believed to mean “surprise gift.” The word is also based within the New Testament, as is “thanksgiving,” all embedded from the word “joy,” also identified as a “surprise gift.”

C. S. Lewis, in The Screwtape Letters, defines joy as “A meaningless acceleration in the rhythm of celestial experience, quite opaque to us.” This could mean that the real definition of joy is that it is a meaningful acceleration, in that it may be meaningless in the eyes of some, but higher, more spiritual beings, may view it more as an acceleration in the rhythm, as Lewis calls it, of celestial experience.

Because joy is a “surprise gift,” it's an experience of meaningful rhythmic acceleration, which is why there are strong feelings associated with it. It's an unusual state, given that at times, it can be demonstrated in an exuberant fashion, while others experience it as profoundly quiet and peaceful.

When and where we experience joy usually includes fellowship, along with the more traditional, inner tranquil, version. As one of the energies of love, joy is one of the highest vibrations on the planet. According to the Universal Law of Attraction, “As we think and feel we vibrate. And as we vibrate, we attract. When we vibrate with joy and love, we attract what is for our greater good.”

Usually, people enter relationships hoping that the relationship will make them happy. There is always great hopefulness that the person they are involved with is the “right one,” that the mistakes of the past aren’t being repeated, and that the love, support, companionship and admiration we desire will be reciprocated.

Although this seems to be the norm, expecting another person to make you happy, usually results in disappointment, largely because, ultimately, we can only make ourselves happy, through our own joy. As cliché as it sounds, that is the bottom line. This is because happiness begins within people, rather than circumstances.

However, pure joy is different, in that it doesn’t come and go, and doesn't depend upon outer situations. Even when things are difficult, and hopes are not fulfilled, it is still possible to feel joyful. This is because joy is a positive decision, regardless of circumstance, involving taking responsibility for our lives and relationships.

In order to increase joy in your personal relationships, you must first find the joy within yourself. Some ways to become more joyful, include:

1. Don’t blame anyone else for disappointments.

2. Discover and engage in the art of true giving (rather than giving to get something back in return).

3. Learn how to really listen, hear and understand.

4. Spend time on things that matter to you and that contribute to your happiness (rather than trying to “fix” things that can’t be changed, or are resistant to change).

5. Develop patience.

Each of the aforementioned tasks takes time to master. Finding joy in you life, and in your personal relationships, means having the ability to accept and love people as they are. Other people were not put on Earth to make us content. People are here to grow, develop and discover who they are, which can be a lengthy and challenging process.

Emotional gurus have said that joy is the result of the personality and soul being in harmony. Some of the more positive emotional benefits associated with experiencing joy, include: the disappearance of impurities in the emotional system in the form of dispersing worries, anxieties, grief, greed, irritation and other negative emotions; sharpening of intellect and strengthening of memory; clarifying and balancing the mind; expanding consciousness and understanding; and allowing the receipt of higher impressions, inspirations, and transforming energies.

While joy is primarily associated as a spiritual state, evidence has shown, that joy can also promote physical well-being. Some of the physical benefits reported to have occurred by those who regularly experience joy, include: strengthening of the immune system, and regeneration of the entire physical system.

Those that make an attempt to experience ways to go beyond conditional happiness, to the blissful state of joy and love, also find that they automatically draw the same emotions to themselves, to acquire a more meaningful, healthy, loving life.

Susan S. Davis is a published book author and writer, currently doing research for a romantic screenplay she is writing. Her Dating From The Inside Out column is published every Tuesday.

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