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Dating From the Inside Out
by Susan S. Davis

Conscious Love

Most people would agree, that love is one of the more positive qualities that define humanity and distinguishes us as human beings, perhaps from other species. Both love and sexuality are sources of life. Integrating those sources in a conscious and positive way, is often viewed as an essential endeavor, in life.

A peaceful culture is based on solidarity between the sexes. While many people see the issues of love and sexuality as exclusively personal affairs and try to solve them privately, on a global view, love really can be as political an issue as any other social and cultural dilemma, and is just as important to develop in order to balance the universe.

The above may sound crazy, but in the patriarchal era, sensual love and sexuality were connected to guilt, shame and fear. As a result, conflicts can hardly be dealt with inside a relationship as they are rooted elsewhere. Sobonfu Somé said, "It takes a whole village to support the love of two people.” Basically, what a single couple goes through, when it comes down to it, really does affect everyone who is in contact with them.


Where trust is present, love begins, often by itself, to expand and include more people, which also apply to erotic and sexual love. This leads organically to the formation of a network of relationships where each person has their place: a tapestry of varying intimacies, intensities and qualities.

The Dalai Lama of Tibet, has famously said "Through Universal Altruism we develop a feeling of true responsibility toward others; the wish to help all actively over come our problems."

History has shown, that there exists a direct correspondence between human behavior, activities, and the institutions that man has created on one hand, and on the other hand, human consciousness (while it is the latter which shapes and/or permits) either abuse, exploitation, oppression, injury, and continued suffering to occur on one hand if it is "unhealthy, dysfunctional, and perverted/corrupted. Conversely, it can support healing, liberation, creativity, integrity, and happiness if it is healthy, functional, integrated, and holistic.

For many, the connection is obvious, that consciousness shapes man's behavior, institutions, and politics; while also, that man's environment, culture, institutions, society, and experiences shape his/her consciousness. The connection between consciousness and spiritual context - between our persona and environment, should be obvious to most human beings. However, modern day urban institutionalized propaganda machines and rigid institutionalized viewpoints, will refuse to link the two; instead obviating them.

The two way street between consciousness and experiences, allow and enable human beings who are aware, to change the future positively through skillful, loving, wise action. However, there still exists self interested institutionalized forces who would rather that humans not take the positive action, since their status quo may be negatively impacted, as a result.

With the compensatory neurotic apparatus reinforced, it then becomes difficult for the consumer to let go of preconceived notions and realize, what had been, a dormant higher potential.

Inner peace comes from a deep realization of who we truly are - where the inner demons of the corruptive mind have become conquered. Inner peace is a result of realizing who we are in completion -- as in eternal, unrequited love. In this space, there is no room for hatred or fear, only love, joy, fulfillment, compassion, and comfort. Generally, people who have reached a state of fulfillment and joy, are neither insatiable nor insecure. Successful people no longer incessantly strive, but rather they engender peace and fullness, and later, love.

As a general rule, loving people create more love, rather than hate, murder, or war. One who has found love, values and honors love, peace, and abundance, attempts to enhance it. As such, peace is not passivity, but active, and an activity of love. Such people so engaged, would not honor systems that create scarcity, competition, stealing from others, comparative advantage, war, or strife.

Similarly, people who love and honor freedom do not enslave, oppress, nor support totalitarian police states; rather, they become engaged in activities which liberate, remove suffering, heal, and celebrate life. And those are generally the types of people that attract love.

Processes based on love and peace do not encourage nor reward suffering, comparative advantage, greed, jealousy, adversity, hatred, fear, competition, strife, and more confusion. While it doesn't take a genius to figure this out, it does require a relatively healthy mind and a good heart.

It is taken as a given, that people collectively moved by transpersonal universal love are capable of accomplishing a great many things, and that when people’s actions are motivated by the universal non-duality of spiritual source, they act in alignment and harmony with the natural joy of spirit, healing, abundance, wealth, peace, and the true happiness it manifests.

The basic assumption of a natural altruistic ambition, forms a powerful momentum of its own, opposing the idea that man must be motivated by the whip, by scarcity, conflict, competition, fear, intimidation, greed, threat, or negative ambition.

If communication about love is cultivated, love can then become more free of the fear of abandonment, lies and pretense. The bigger the social and mental and spiritual context for love is, the easier it is to deal with difficulties in a playful and unidentified way. As a result, it’s easier to give more attention to positivity and less to negativity. The more truth that is found, the more power and love there is to give the world, overall. It could be, that finding individual love may, in fact, depend greatly upon garnering more love first, within the environment, on a much higher scale.

By focusing on the “bigger picture” of the world, it may be easier to then accomplish personal goals, since the environments in which we live usually inform our individual lives. In fact, by doing so, we may actually attract like-minded people with whom to align personal and world goals, thereby accomplishing both universal and personal interests, at the same time, one, as a direct result, of the other.

Susan S. Davis is a published book author and writer, currently doing research for a romantic screenplay she is writing. Her Dating From The Inside Out column is published every Tuesday.

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