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Dating From the Inside Out
by Susan S. Davis

Spiritual Intelligence and Dating

Every culture on the planet has created some type of spiritually based ideology, to help its people deal with the life questions that loom largely in front of humanity. It is on that basis, that we can assume that human beings are naturally spiritual, regardless of religious affiliation, or even the lack thereof. The word “spiritual” comes from the Latin root “spiritus” meaning "breath" – as in the breath of life, involving opening the heart and cultivating the capacity to experience respect, reverence and gratitude.

The word incorporates the ability to experience the poignancy of life, to know passion of existence, through the ability to understand that there is an entity existence that is greater than the self. The purpose of spirituality is to bring about greater love and compassion for all humans and respect for all living things.

The spiritual center in the human brain, was demonstrated in the early 1990s by a neurologist at the University of California. Known as the part of the brain that provided the capacity and sensitivity to inquire as to the meaning and value of certain aspects of our lives, another definition was coined as a kind of “spiritual intelligence.”


In our modern world, spiritual intelligence is known as the mechanism with which human beings solve problems, in a way that places life in a broader context. It’s the intelligence that enables people to assess which courses of action are more meaningful than others. It is connecting with our inner core to make the kinds of choices that are in line with our innermost purposes.

Spiritual intelligence is considered uniquely human and allows us to change rules and situations, to better reflect circumstances as they evolve. It is a basic foundation upon which IQ and emotional intelligence may function properly. It is the holistic concept that incorporates mind, body and spirit. In the modern world, spiritual intelligence can be more succinctly stated as a search for meaning beyond the physical world and material possessions.

Spiritual intelligence is not predicated upon religion or being religious. People often ask fundamental questions about life, such as “Why has this happened,” “What is my purpose”? and, of course, “What is the meaning of life?” in an effort to discern and distill what kinds of situations that they should be involved in, as they try to determine whether situations are good for them to be involved in.

Whether people know it or not, it is the larger picture, that many are really addressing, as they try to become more aware of themselves, the universe at large, and what place and purpose they have in it.

Despite having careers that are satisfying, fantastic friends, and all the material wealth that is supposed to be characteristic of contentment, sometimes, all of these things are not enough, as evidenced by so many people that still feel an emptiness.

So why do so few people find happiness and inner peace in the Western World? It could be because this society’s hallmark is characterized by Capitalist materialism, somewhat as a result of a lack of emotional and spiritual intelligence. Instant emotional and physical gratification is often the order of the day.

In order to fill the emotional holes that so many people have in their lives, they have resorted to other material and physical means, to fill up the emptiness. As a result, a lack of a sense of morals, family, community, inner peace and life meaning prevails, as the never-ending cycle of food, drink, drugs, greed, gambling, and sex continues.

What tends to happen to people who lack spiritual intelligence when it comes to choosing potential dates and life partners, is that they choose the same types of individuals, over and over again, whether or not they are the best suited for a partnership. Whoever manages to adhere to whatever their standards may be in, are the kinds of people that they attract and are attractive to them.

In addition, when a culture lacks the spiritual essence that can support individuals with visions for its people, it is then up to each individual, to discover it for themselves. Spiritual intelligence can be developed by finding a new level of consciousness, including awareness and possibilities that can provide greater meaning, and the resultant inner peace and contentment that so many people seek.

Since spiritual intelligence and consciousness, when developed, can be used to transform many aspects of life, including the civilization, planet and even the course of history, it stands to reason that it can also be extremely beneficial with regard to interpersonal relationships.

Many positive qualities can come from highly developed spiritual intelligence, including heightened personal honesty to one’s self and others, the capacity to be authentic and real, sense of humor, as well as a more opened mind and senses, all of which serve to create a more fertile ground for intimacy and love.

Other qualities, which are also considered very attractive, include the capacity to be flexible and spontaneous, along with a high degree of self-awareness, and often, the ability to transform pain and suffering into happiness and joy. A strong belief that everything happens for a reason and serves us, is an additional attribute that can be used to great benefit.

Finally, one of the more critical aspects of spiritual intelligence as to interpersonal relationships, encompasses the awareness and knowledge associated with the universal laws concerning attraction and gratitude. Mastering those two aspects of the nature of psychic awareness creates the tendency to operate from the higher self, which channels directly into the heart and soul space of love. Once operating from that vantage point, it will become easier than ever, to attract the kinds of people into our lives that will be the most beneficial overall, on every level.

Susan S. Davis is a published book author and writer, currently doing research for a romantic screenplay she is writing. Her Dating From The Inside Out column is published every Tuesday.

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