DatingMashup.com


 
Bookmark and Share

Online Dating Magazine > Columns > A Better You > 36 (Final Column)


A Better You
by Jo Ann Fore

A Quiet Mind

Editor's Note: This is the final A Better You column by Jo Ann Fore. Look for continuing contributions from her in other areas of Online Dating Magazine in the future.

"Only in quiet waters do things mirror themselves undistorted. Only in a quiet mind is adequate perception of the world.”
~ Hans Margolius

For years, I avoided quiet. The stillness of it intimidated me. It agitated me.

Quiet requires something of a person. At the time, I didn’t know what that “something” was, but I knew enough to know I didn’t have it. And, my constant state of turmoil convinced me I didn’t need it anyway.

So, I avoided it. I filled my quiet with compulsive shopping, unhealthy relationships, and a demanding career to keep from being still.

But living life out loud led to difficulties. Stressed, financially strapped, and seriously overworked, I realized I couldn’t keep going like that.

I was forced to look inward for some answers. It wasn’t comfortable.

What if I don’t like what’s in there? I wondered.

My heart pounds even now.

I finally granted myself permission to learn to sit with the quiet of each day. I wanted answers for my rash behavior, and I was going to have to be still to get them. Insight is difficult to discern in the midst of chaos. I was longing for the very thing I spent years avoiding: peace and quiet.

I am impatient, driven, and hard-working. It was difficult for my brain to justify the time required to be still. Responsibilities and tasks vied for my attention. Doubt tried to convince me quiet was overrated, unproductive, and unnecessary.

How appropriate that quiet won the silent battle.

Quiet led me on a journey of revelation. A pain-filled, taxing, and downright uncomfortable journey at times, yet insightful and educational. In the calm of quiet, I discovered answers. I obtained direction.

Also, quiet taught me that I cannot live without it. It is a perpetual need. I am faced with challenges on a regular basis that require me to call on it. And, to battle for its importance.

Today I still battle for my right to sit quietly. Seated on my couch, nestled between several floral, oversized pillows, I breathe in deeply. No television in the background; no children playing; the dogs don’t even dare to bark outside. Nothing but quiet. And me.

The quiet beckons me, “Break through!”

My mind resists.

Where do I go? What do I do? My mind is flooded with 100 things at once.

The stillness is threatened.

“Calm down,” the quiet assures me.

“Listen quietly. What presses the hardest for your attention?” the quiet probes.

Ah…my teenage daughter – and my empty nest.

“Let’s go there,” the quiet encourages.

I spend at least an hour with the quiet. Mentally, I lay my anguish out on the table. And, then I leave it there. I stop talking. I listen. In the stillness, I soon discern what my part is, and what it isn’t. I leave the quiet refreshed, renewed, and revitalized.

What a blessing the quiet is to me.

And, it can be to you. Everyone needs, and deserves, the opportunity to reflect and regroup. I’ll admit, it isn’t easy – but, it is necessary.

It is important to create your own quiet time, preferably daily – but at a minimum, weekly. You need to be free from disturbances. Eliminate the distractions, at least temporarily. Yes, single parents, adult care-givers, and corporate-ladder climbers, I do understand what I’m asking. You will have much more to give once you are refueled from the quiet.

Review your priorities. What is going on in your life – with your family, your career, or your friends – that demands attention? What are your hopes in each of these situations? Focus on one situation at a time. Free from distraction, lay out all your concerns about it. Then, be still and listen. The quiet will speak.

As Hans Margolius, German philosopher, reminds us, it is in the quiet mind that we adequately perceive the true answers.



Jo Ann Fore welcomes your comments about this article or suggestions for material you would like to see in future articles. Email her at: JoAnnFore@msn.com. A Better You is published every Saturday.


>
Perfectmatch.com - The best approach to find the one. <


All Online Dating Magazine content, including the content on this page,
is © copyright by Online Dating Magazine and may not be
republished or reused in any form. You do have
full permission to link to this article.

Do you agree or disagree with this article? Have
more to add? Submit a Letter to the Editor today or post a comment below.


 


blog comments powered by Disqus


Privacy Statement | Code of Ethics Statement
Bookmark Online Dating Magazine at Del.icio.us

>View Online Dating Magazine Singles Travel Adventures<

Online Dating | News | Columns | Features | Dating Services | Niche Dating
Online Dating Directory | Dating Humor | Quick Tip Articles | Online Dating Industry
Industry History
| Online Dating Reviews | Reader Reviews | Dating Videos | Book / DVD Reviews
Reader Letters | Self Improvement | Experiences | Newsletter | Interviews
Top 10 Lists | STD Info Center | About Us | Advertise
Media Center
| FAQ | Search | Contact | Dating Promotions

Dating Cartoons | Dating Jokes | Funny Dating Videos | Dating Games

Online Dating Magazine Needs Your Help!

All content on this Website is ©copyright by Online
Dating Magazine. All Rights Reserved. The content
on this site may not be reused or republished.

Are you an online dating site Webmaster? If so...
If you are looking for free dating content you can republish, click here

 

 



Advertise on
Online Dating Magazine



Menu:

 

Stay Up to Date:

Follow Us on Twitter

Follow Us on YouTube

Follow Us on Facebook

 


10 Most Viewed Articles:

Online Dating Tips
Opposites Attract
Online Dating Safety Tips
Rose Colors
Guys are Weird
Dating Games
Online Dating Reviews
Creative Date Ideas
Long Distance Relationships
Dealing with a Breakup

Other Resources:

These links will take you away from Online Dating Magazine.

Google (Google Your Date)
BBB (
Research Dating Service)

MailOrderBride Guide

Note: Online Dating Magazine does not sell text links anywhere on the site, so please don't email asking about text links. Any links we have are affiliate links, resources we find useful, links to other sites we run or long-time magazine sponsors. We do have graphic ad options in our Advertising section.