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Single Moms Have High Self and
Sex-Esteem
(onlinedatingmagazine.com -
May 12, 2004) TRUEBeginnings,
a new online relationship service has revealed
that despite popular belief, many single mothers have
high levels of self-esteem and "sex esteem."
After
scientifically examining and comparing responses received
from more than 30,000 women nationwide, TRUEBeginnings' department
of psychological studies found that single mothers
tend to score significantly higher than single
women who are not mothers on measures of sexual attitudes
and behavior, self confidence, emotional intelligence,
communication and readiness to commit.
However, according
to Karin H. Bruckner, licensed therapist and TRUEBeginnings' single
parent expert, many single mothers may not effectively
act on these positive traits. In light of the many
responsibilities they juggle -- balancing career, family
and romance -- single mothers tend to loose sight of
the fact that as a result of these unique life experiences,
they have developed the characteristics and skills
that are the foundation of healthy, well-balanced relationships.
"After scientifically reviewing
recent studies focusing on issues relevant to single
mothers, as well as our own research conducted on single
women, we've discovered that single mothers possess
considerable strength and skills," said Bruckner. "In
terms of self esteem, personal confidence, stress-management
and even libido, single moms score as high or higher
than single women who are not mothers. The
challenge is that there is not a lot
of recognition that they possess these wonderful character traits. In fact, many
single mothers subscribe to society's rather negative
views
of them instead of accessing the highly developed attributes
they possess."
To help single mothers recognize
and develop these traits, TRUEBeginnings has compiled
a list of tips that single mothers can employ to bring
their love, work and play lives into greater accord
this Mother's Day and throughout the entire year:
* Maintain adult connections -- A sense of isolation
is one of the key factors contributing to depression
in single mothers. Although such women may lead fast-paced
lives which keep them busy with work, errands, soccer
practice and homework help, many single moms find
it challenging to develop the deep, meaningful adult
relationships they crave. Single mothers can benefit
from nurturing casual adult relationships into deeper,
more fulfilling ones.
* Affirm your self-worth --
According to experts, women with high self-esteem
tend to interpret compliments and other forms of
positive affirmation received by friends, family
and co-workers as a genuine reflection of themselves,
while women with lower self-esteem may disregard
such positive input, failing to recognize it as sincere
and well deserved. Single moms should take a lesson
in love from those who score high on self-esteem
measures: relish the love and acceptance received
from family, friends and love interests as an affirmation
of how wonderful you really are.
* Listen to your
feelings -- Many single, working mothers find themselves
stretched to the limit at work and at home, tackling
alone the responsibilities once handled by many.
If you find your frustration level rising, try listening
to what your feelings are telling you instead of
dismissing them in an effort to calm down. Exploring
feelings of anger and frustration will give you a
clear idea as to exactly what is causing them. Instead
of counting to ten or pretending it doesn't matter,
go where your feelings take you emotionally and use
what you learn to improve your work life.
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