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Dating Profile Tips
Writing an Online Dating Profile
Ad that Increases Your Attraction
by Julie-Ann Amos for Online
online dating success is partly dependent on your
ability to capture the interest and imagination
of others through the words you write. While the
task of writing a good online dating profile may
be daunting for many people, it just takes a little
time, effort, and know-how. You just need to know
some tricks of the trade to get noticed by the
people you want, while weeding out those that don’t
In person or on the telephone you can more easily
get a feel for what another person is like and pick
up a rich assortment of clues as to their personality
from their voice. But online the only thing you have
to work with is your words. So writing a good profile
really is vital for success.
Many dating sites such as Match.com have programs,
like questionnaires, that assist you in creating
your profile based on a series of questions. That
can make creating a profile easier, but it can also
sidetrack you into omitting important things. So
whatever you write, invest time and effort into getting
Before you start, always read the site guidelines,
and any hints and tips. They will steer you in the
right direction. Then prepare. Those ads we admire
that look spontaneous and fun? The chances are they
were actually the result of someone’s hard
work. Always use a word processor for your work,
then cut and paste it into the site profile or ad
(even if answering questions). This builds a document
which you can edit and reuse if registering with
more then one site, and also gives you a spell/grammar
checker to avoid mistakes.
Perfection Takes Time
Don’t expect to get it perfect the first time.
Be prepared to tweak the profile as you go along, to
change your results until you’re getting good
matches from people who fit your requirements. Most
importantly, get advice from someone else whose judgement
you trust. Ask them what the profile says to them – as
opposed to whether it describes you or not. Preferably
use someone who doesn’t know you so well, as
people who know you well will have their judgement
influenced by their knowledge of you – they’ll
see what they want to see, not what’s there.
Listen to advice. You don’t have to act on it
and change anything, just note it for the future, in
case you need to alter the profile later.
Headlines and Usernames
Your username says a lot about you - “Princess452” or “Shy36” will
generate assumptions in people. Either use a username
which is significant and says something about you (e.g. “Tigress”),
or one which is anonymous, such as “Jane2435”.
Resist temptation to refer to significant numbers such
as age, phone numbers, date of birth etc in your username – this
gives unnecessary personal information, which you should
headline usually appears in search lists, so it should
be positive and catchy – it’s one
of the main things that will prompt the other party
to click your profile and read on.
Be Appropriate in Length
A profile which is too long will put readers off
and they may not bother to finish it. On the other
hand, if it’s too short they won’t
see the full picture, and may not be tempted, so
aim for a happy medium.
A Picture Tells a Thousand
A picture greatly increases your prospects. Many
people simply don’t respond to profiles without one – would
you? Be open and post a
good picture of yourself.
Don’t worry that someone you know will see
it– after all, the only way they would see
it is if they too are looking for someone online!
there is the facility to record an audio file, use
it. Hearing someone’s voice can be an excellent
barometer of whether or not they’d be suitable.
If you don’t know what to say, read something – a
poem, a book paragraph, or a piece of your profile.
Research the Target, Not the Opposition
It’s often a waste of time looking at profiles
of your competition. They may look great to you, but
you don’t know what type of responses they’re
getting, and so copying isn’t necessarily a good
idea. It’s better to spend a little time browsing
profiles of prospects you might be interested in, and
picking out the ones you like best to identify what
it is that is attractive about them. Then try to work
these things into your own profile or ad as things
you’re interested in or looking for.
Demonstrate, Don’t Describe
Many profiles are lists of adjectives: “I’m
funny, bright, happy, interesting…etc etc.” Prove
it! Let things show through in the way you write the
profile, instead of listing them. A positive, cheerful
profile will show you’re a cheerful happy person.
A funny profile will say more about your sense of humor
than “GSOH” (good sense of humor). If you
like films, talk briefly about your two favorites -
and why they are. This will tell people much more about
you than “I love movies.”
The golden rule is to talk about who you are, not
how you look and what you do.
Avoid anything negative in your profile – unless
it’s something that’s a real deal-breaker
for you. For example, if you passionately hate cats
to the extent that you couldn’t date someone
with one, it’s sensible to say so. If there are
moral, religious or social factors which are important
to you, that would be “deal-breakers” in
deciding whether to meet someone or not, make sure
you mention them - positively. It will help you to
avoid the situation of spending time getting to know
and like someone, only to discover some fundamental
be positive about yourself. Resist negative touches
like “I’ve been burnt before,” “I
wouldn’t call myself beautiful…”,
or “I’m not sure if this will work but…” -
they do you no favors at all.
Avoid the Bland
“I like walking in the countryside, dining out
and socializing.” Who
doesn’t? What does this really tell him or her
about you? – Nothing, it’s meaningless
padding! Be descriptive about things that are important
to you. Instead of “I love family life,” say “I
have a great family and we have fun socializing together.” It
sounds much more attractive.
Honesty Really is the Best Policy – Within
Be honest; it pays off in the long run. It may be
very tempting to give white lie about your age (after
all, you LOOK younger…), your weight (it’ll
be gone soon…) or habits (well, I used to go
to the gym 4 times a week…) but remember, people
are making choices based on what you say, and will
only feel let down when they discover the truth.
exception is with quantity of information, not quality.
There’s no point in being totally honest
and putting people off by telling them every single
thing. Become a master of understatement – instead
of saying “I love books, and spend every weekend
shopping in markets to add to my collection of over
2000 books,” which may sound odd to someone who
doesn’t get to know you, just say “I love
books and have a large collection.” Be honest
about things that people might find negative but understate
them, don’t hide them.
of the most tricky issues can be weight, and if you’re an ample body size, you need to be honest
about it. Not only will it disappoint them when they
meet you if you’ve lied, but your own confidence
will plummet if you see disappointment on their face
or hear it in their voice. Use the “Honest Understatement.” Say
something like “I’m large/ample/voluptuous/curvy,” etc.
You don’t need to tell them your exact size,
and if they need to ask it probably isn’t a successful
Understand the Impact of Your
What you choose to say will eliminate people who
feel they don’t match. If you say “prefer
fair hair” you are instantly ruling out most
people with dark hair – they assume it’s
not worth pursuing. So exercise caution when describing
what you’re looking for as it can have a huge
effect on the reader (however, saying you only want
genuine replies unfortunately won’t keep away
the deceitful!). Use language appropriate for your
target audience. If you only want professional respondees,
choose your words accordingly. If you want a casual
dating partner or friend rather than a life partner,
avoid talking about relationships and the long-term.
Write for the Reader
Put yourself in their shoes – write the profile
to attract the type of person you want to meet. Think
about what they would find attractive, and aim every
word at them.
final thing - don’t let writing the perfect
profile delay you from getting yourself online! That’s
called putting it off – procrastination. Once
you’re happy with a first draft, get it online
and see what results you get – you can always
amend it later.
> Perfectmatch.com - The best approach to find the one.
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