To help increase your chances of success when using online dating services, there are some guidelines you should follow. We call these the 10 Commandments of Online Dating:
Commandment #1: Thou Shalt Post a Picture
Studies show that .posting a picture of yourself on an online dating service increases the number of views and responses you receive. People who don't post pictures not only get fewer views, but also make people wonder why they aren't posting a picture. Are they married? Are they embarrassed? Can they not afford a digital camera?
Some people may not post a picture because they don't like their looks. So what? How can you find someone who will appreciate you for who you are if you don't post a photo? But more importantly, if you are embarrassed to post a photo because you are overweight or don't like your looks then perhaps you should take time to improve yourself and boost your self esteem before venturing into the world of online dating. (view Online Dating Magazine's Self Improvement Articles).
Commandment #2: Thou Shalt Put Others Before Thyself
One of the biggest turnoffs to online daters is people who like to talk about themselves... a lot.. If you want to increase your attractiveness in the world of online dating, then learn to make your communications about the person you are interested in. When mailing or messaging them, be the one asking the questions. People like it when someone is interested in them and you'll have more success by being that person, rather than the one labeled as an ego-maniac.
Commandment #3: Thou Shalt Read Profiles Before Communicating
This commandment goes hand in hand with Commandment #2. A big mistake many online daters make before communicating with someone they are interested in is not thoroughly reading that person's profile. As a result, the messages they send others aren't engaging and thus don't warrant a response. In order to be engaging in your communications, you need to read the profile of the person you are interested in and asked questions based on things they said in their profile.
Commandment #4: Thou Shalt Show Respect to Other Online Daters
One of the biggest
complaints from online daters is how some people they communicate with suddenly "fall of the face of the Earth". Suddenly the emails stop and the person is never heard from again. Many times this could be because they found someone else they are interested in or simply want to try "greener pastures". Whatever the case, it is extremely disrespectful to suddenly cease all communications without an explanation. Before you stop communicating with someone, send them a quick email with an honest explanation. They will respect you more for it. In all your communications with others, treat them like you'd like to be treated.
Commandment #5: Thou Shalt Not be Crude
A big mistake some online daters, mostly men, make is sending first communications that are crude, use foul language, or
are sexually suggestive. These type of communications are far too frequent and extremely ineffective in finding a date, much less a lifelong partner. Be polite in your emails. Showing respect, politeness, and being engaging are the best ways to get a response.
Commandment #6: Thou Shalt Be Positive
Being positive is a trait that is not only important for finding a potential lifelong partner, but also for having a much more happy and enjoyable life. In general, people are repelled by negative people and attracted to positive people. When you do a profile search on an online dating service and see the following two headlines on different profiles, which one would you be more likely to read?
Profile #1
Lonely person looking for someone to fill void.
Profile #2
Bright spark looking to ignite a shared journey.
One is detracts and the other engages in a positive manner. Do you want to date a lonely person in a void or someone that is bright and ready to share a fun journey?
(view Online Dating Magazine's article on Being a Positive Thinker).
Commandment #7: Thou Shalt Be Unique
To succeed in online dating, it's important to stand out from the crowd. This includes what you say in your profile, headline, and communications with others. You don't want to be like everyone else.
For example, one of the most overused phrases in online dating is "I must be the one you're looking for". It's so overused that some people even comment on it. As one online dater said in their profile:
"You can't ALL be the one I'm looking for!"
Be unique and creative. Stand out from the crowd. Write in an engaging way. Study some of Online Dating Magazine's "Top 10" lists for ideas. Also read the article, Writing an Online Profile Ad that Increases Your Attraction".
Commandment #8: Thou Shalt Not Lie
A survey by Keynote found that the majority of online daters tell lies in their online dating profiles. Some are big lies like saying they are single when married and others are small lies like fibbing about weight. It's important that you not get into the habit of fibbing in your online dating profile. Be 100% honest in your answers to all questions. Post a picture that is of you and that is no more than two months old. Update your pictures every month or two.
You don't appreciate it when other people lie to you so be sure not to lie to them. Any dates you plan should not be based on false information or misconceptions. Your date may wonder if you lied about one thing what else you'll lie about if the relationship progresses.
Commandment #9: Thou Shalt Meet in Public
When you decide to take online dating to the level of meeting, safety is of the utmost importance. It's vital that your first meeting be in a public place. Provide your own transportation and make sure a friend or family member knows where you are and who you are with.
Some law enforcement personnel recommend you continue meeting in public for several dates.
Commandment #10: Trust Your Gut Instinct, But Beware of It Too
You have a powerful tool when it comes to your safety - your gut instinct. Whether before a date or during a date if your gut instinct tells you something isn't right then trust it. But also remember to use common sense. Don't allow your gut instinct to fall prey to your emotions (i.e. relationship scams are successful because the victim gets emotionally attached, lowering their defenses and rendering gut instinct virtually useless). In some cases you may need to rely on the gut instinct and wisdom of a friend or family member that is detached from the situation you are in.
