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Dating with Disabilities
by Melissa Blake

What Women Don't Want to Hear Men Say

So, who on Earth doesn’t love a good old top ten list? I know, me too! That’s why I come to you this week bearing not one great Top 10 List, but two! These lists made me think of guy, obviously, but for a bit of a deeper reason. How awesome would it be if we women mass produced these and handed them out as business cards? They could be a little lesson for men – all in list form, to cut down on the risk of them getting distracted, of course!

But, really, I’ve noticed lately that brevity can ultimately bring about a high – and much-needed – dose of clarity. These wonderful lists of mine allowed me to focus, while hopefully imparting some sort of wisdom to the opposite sex.

TOP TEN #1: What we never want to hear you say…
I know, sometimes the wrong phrase slips out at the wrong time. It happens. But, men, please, don't make it a habit. These 10 phrases will surely get you in the doghouse for a night...or more. Think you're being sexy? You're not. Sorry, but it's the truth.

1. You're just like my sister [insert mother, aunt or any other female relative in his life]

2. I checked. The doctor says it's not contagious.

3. That's what you're wearing? It's so...[feel free to fill in the blank]

4. I need my space. I think we should just be friends.

5. Don't worry. We're only meeting for coffee [we, obviously, is an old flame].

6. It didn't mean anything. [next logical question from you: Then why didn't you tell me?]

7. Today's our anniversary?

8. So who was your first [insert anything here: crush, kiss, lover, etc.]?

9. Things are going great. Why complicate things by doing a thing like moving in together?

10. Your best friend is super hot!

Oooops, I’m sorry, guys. Did that list depress you? Did it hit too close to home? I thought it might (see, I know your kind better than you think I do). I’m sorry if you’ve lost the love of your life because of one of these phrases; I’m terribly sorry I couldn’t come sooner.

But, here’s something that will (hopefully!) make you smile. Because I know, deep down, you are good guys. You just sometimes get lost along the way. But just because you may get lost, it doesn’t mean you can’t be sexy while you try to find your way…
TOP TEN #2: When you’re sexy and don’t even know it

Pssst, I've got a little secret for you men out there. Did you know you're sexy even when you don't know it or aren't even trying to be? You think we're not looking/noticing? Hello, of course we are! And we're taking mental notes, so try to do these Top Ten things a little more.....

SEXY IS...

1. Watching you be a kid again with your nieces and newphews.

2. Waking up next to you.

3. When you're curled up in bed sleeping (and snoring) like a baby.

4. When you smile and those boyish dimples begin to show.

5. When you talk about us to your family, especially your grandmother, and your face lights up.

6. When you feed us chicken soup and bring us celebrity magazines when we're sick.

7. When you're not afraid to cry in front of us - or on our shoulder.

8. When you give us your jacket as we're walking in the rain.

9. When we're talking about our future together.

10. When you're just YOU. Just the way you are. Never change. Please.

BONUS: When you're fixing something around the house. A hammer never looked sexier in your hands!

BONUS, BONUS: When you're really, really mad; it's actually sort of adorable.

Dating with Disabilities is published every Tuesday by Online Dating Magazine columnist Melissa Blake. Melissa is a freelance writer and columnist. Her work has been featured in Redbook, Pregnancy magazine and the Chicago Tribune. She can be reached at mellow1422@aol.com..

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