Online Dating Magazine > Columns > Dating Triumphs & Tragedies > Online Dating and Lying

Dating Triumphs and Tragedies
by Nicole Roberge

Online Daters Beware:
Online Dating and Lying

I recently met a guy online who seemed funny, charming, witty. and was definitely attractive.  I had been tired of the dating game but he seemed different.  He liked my favorite sports team, the Yankees, he loved dogs (I have bulldogs) and he was creative (I love writing).  This guy seemed like a winner.  So we decided to meet.

We met for coffee and talked for a while.. and I mean, a while.  And it wasn't about that other stuff, but rather our lives.  It was a great chat that continued as we walked through town and finally found a bench to sit on to talk some more.

He was a Red Sox fan…even though he was from New York.

He hated dogs...his parents had two that disgusted him.

He hated to write, but did like to read.

The thing about the writing that got me though, was that in our chats, he told me he liked my favorite author.  However, he had never read any of his books.

All of this stuff he was saying he thought was a way to get closer to me.  Meanwhile, it was really a warning sign for me to get further away from him.

He saw my profile.  Knew what I liked.  Pretended to like that stuff, and thought I would like him more.  I did at first thinking we had so much in common, but once I knew the truth, I was totally turned off.  It seemed kind of creepy in a way.

Getting to know your partner is one thing...

...stalking them is another.

This guy that I met was amazing at first.  He liked everything I liked.  I met him online and it was amazing.  Here was a guy who actually liked my favorite author, had dogs at his feet while typing as I did, liked writing and history, and I was enamored.  When I met him, he actually seemed that way and I was floored.  Here is someone I could truly go for, not because of the dog or the writing or favorite authors, but because he has interests.  Then I found out, I had no idea what his interests were.  He told me the truth, and that was that he did not like dogs, he did not like my favorite author and he did not like writing.  This guy was a mystery to me.  Why present yourself to someone one way when you are not like that at all?

It’s discouraging, yes, but I guess it’s to be expected with online dating.  For some reason, I thought he was different.  He had been anxious, himself, about online-dating, and maybe that’s why he said that stuff.  He told me that he just wanted to meet me.  But why lie?  You could tell me you’re a clown and if I were interested, I would meet you.  You don’t have to have everything in common with me for me to go out with you.  I think that’s where people get mixed up.  Thinking that they need every detail of their life to fit with their partner’s, or else, it’s doomed.  That’s not true.  Couples can have each their own likes and dislikes; they do not have to be the same.  I don’t care if you like dogs or not.  I don’t care if you like the same author as me.  What I do care is that we are compatible in some way and can laugh and share some good times together.  Now, is that too much to ask?

Needless to say, things with “that guy” did not work out.  It wasn't because of all the mix-ups, just because of normal circumstances.  But from this experience, what I do have to say is this: be honest.  If you read my profile and don’t like my favorite author…I don’t care!  I really don’t.  Hate him if you want!  You’re entitled to like whatever, whoever, you want…it does not have to be the same as your partners.  The most important thing is that you be happy together, honest with each other, and can respect each other’s likes.  If you can do that, then you are on the road to success... and my work is done here….

Dating Triumphs and Tragedies is published every Sunday by Online Dating Magazine columnist Nicole Roberge. She can be reached at NicoleMRoberge@hotmail.com.