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Dating Triumphs and Tragedies
by Nicole Roberge

The Importance of Online Dating

Someone in an online dating email recently prompted the statement, “I can’t imagine why you need to be on here.”  I was a little taken a back, not sure whether to take it as a compliment or an insult.  He went on to say that I should be able to find a date without going online, but buddy, if that were that case, I wouldn’t be there.  The thing is, maybe I don’t want to find a date elsewhere.  I don’t want to sit a bar waiting for the next drunk guy to come up to me and offer to buy me a drink.  Or what are the chances I randomly bump into someone in the mall and it’s magical?  Not likely.  The fact is that online dating is now more prevalent than “regular” dating.  It’s more popular than ever, and people are meeting their mates by this useful tool we call the Internet.

My friend Mary met her husband online and is soon to celebrate her year anniversary and have her first baby in January.  She couldn’t be happier.  Another friend from childhood just got married two weeks ago to a man she met online.  Online dating takes the stress out of meeting people.  You actually get to know the person before you go out on the date, so that you are more comfortable.  Whereas with “traditional” dating, you may meet someone, exchange numbers, and then go out on an uncomfortable date where you’re basically interviewing the person so that you get to know them.  With online dating, you already have an idea of whom the person is that you are going on the date with, so that when you go on that first date, you are more at ease and can enjoy each other’s company.

There was one guy, Matt, who I was to meet for a dinner date and I always ask, “Where should we meet?”  Because although I’ve seen his picture, I don’t want to be endlessly searching for him and it’s easier to pick a location, whether inside or outside of the restaurant to make it easier.  He said, “let’s meet at the bar.”  So I get to the restaurant and have a seat at the bar.  I was a few minutes early, however, and there was a guy at the corner of the bar who looked familiar, but his head was turned so I couldn’t tell if it was him or not.  I didn’t want to go up to him in case it was the wrong guy, because then I’d feel like an idiot.  So instead I just sat there, still feeling like an idiot.  Ten minutes went by, and this guy finally came up to me and said, “Did you just get here?”  Oops.  Being the honest girl I am, I told him, “No, I have been here for a bit.  I thought I saw you, but I wasn’t sure.”  He didn’t think it was as funny as I did.  The date didn’t go that well anyway, and it was our only one, but it made me realize the importance of a) really paying attention to the guy’s picture and b) having the courage to go up to the guy, even if you are risking it not being him.

After that experience, I was a little more careful as to planning where to meet my date.  For instance, I just went on one at a restaurant and he told me where he parked and what he was driving, so we met outside and he was easy to find, and all went well from there.  Online dating can be tricky, and like dating in general, can have its problems, but those are the things you figure out along the way.  The important thing is that you meet someone that you’re compatible with and whose company you enjoy.  Online dating shouldn’t be daunting, it should be a comfortable and exciting way to meet new people, and I have found that to be true.  It gives you many options to meet the right person, and maybe a lot of wrong people along the way.  But I have faith in it, as I have seen it work out for my friends, and I know it can work out for you, and hopefully, me too.

Dating Triumphs and Tragedies is published every Sunday by Online Dating Magazine columnist Nicole Roberge. She can be reached at NicoleMRoberge@hotmail.com.