Online Dating Magazine > Columns > Dating Triumphs & Tragedies > Mock Date

Dating Triumphs and Tragedies
by Nicole Roberge

Mock Date

I was recently asked the question:  “What are the top three traits you are looking for in someone you date?”  I had to think hard about it, because honestly, it’s not something particular I’m looking for, it is just that I just enjoy the company of the person, maybe we have something in common, and we can laugh together.  Oh, and he’s not psycho.  But I had to give an answer, and so it came: 

1) That he not be as crazy as me. 
2) A good sense of humor (I know it sounds cliché, but I like to laugh…a lot) and
3) He is caring, not just towards me, but others. 

If he has those three traits, I think that we’d get along just fine.

But what if you could ask your date whatever you wanted?  What if dating didn’t require those “getting-to-know-you” questions and you could ask the most absurd questions ever.  It probably wouldn’t happen in this somewhat-normal world, but in Nicole’s world, or rather, column, they are going to. 

Nicole is going to go on a pretend date right now…with…Jake.  Let’s see how it turns out:

Nicole meets Jake at the restaurant.  He picked it out, but she likes it, so that’s ok.  He pulls out the chair for her.  Quite the gentleman.  So he is caring.  Bonus points.
They sit, make small talk, order, and then comes talk time.
           
Nicole: So, you really think that hairstyle works for you?
Jake: (stunned)  I guess I kind of need a haircut.
Nicole:  No, you should have it however you want.  I was just wondering.  When did you cry last?
Jake: (laughs) Seriously?
Nicole: Yeah.  Guys do cry, they just don’t admit to it.
Jake:  When my dog died a few months ago.
Nicole: I’m sorry.  What kind of dog?
Jake:  A boxer.  (Jake gets a little misty)
Nicole:  I love boxers.  (Nicole needs to change the subject)  When was the last time you lied to someone?
Jake: You like asking questions, don’t you?
Nicole:  I just want to know more about you.
Jake:  You really want to know?
Nicole: Yes.
Jake: About…(Jake looks at his watch)…30 seconds ago.  That dog died when I was 10.  Sorry.  I couldn’t remember when I cried last, but I knew I cried then.  I thought you’d like my sensitive side.
Nicole:  I would have if you’d been honest, but glad you came clean.  Any crazy, super-nuts, outbursts lately?
Jake: Am I on a hidden camera show?
Nicole: Wouldn’t that be great?
Jake: (looks nervous) No.  I might have a crazy outburst if you keep up with these questions.

Both Jake and Nicole laugh.  Sense of humor, Nicole likes that.

Nicole: Okay, normal questions.  Do you keep in touch with your family often?
Jake: Yeah…pretty much.
Nicole: Do you have another date set up for tomorrow?
Jake: No.
Nicole: The next night?
Jake: Yes.
Nicole:  Do you like me…enough?
Jake:  Yeah, I do..enough.
Nicole:  Will we go out again?
Jake:  If you stop interviewing me.

Okay, so asking a date any questions, no matter how crazy, can sometimes be off-putting if you go overboard.  But asking him questions like that which seem interrogating just make for a very un-fun date.  Sure, I got some info out of Jake, like knowing he already lied to me, but also knowing he was dating other people.  But the truth is, in this mock-date, it was draining for me also.  I wouldn’t want to ask questions like that.  And I would never comment on someone’s hairstyle.  What was fake Nicole thinking?  I wouldn’t even want to date myself in this situation!  What a jerk.

So in a make-believe world, or if you’re brave in the real world, you could ask your date any question you wanted, but it might not always go so well.  If you take your time, however, continue dating, then that is how the questions you have get answered.  They get revealed by getting to know the person and those crazy questions you needed to know the answers to early one, might seem just that in the end—crazy.  The best way to date is to let the conversation flow and not let it seem like an interview, because if you do, pretty soon, you’ll be doing all the talking.  And you want him to answer “yes” when you ask if you will see him again.

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Dating Triumphs and Tragedies is published every Sunday by Online Dating Magazine columnist Nicole Roberge. She can be reached at NicoleMRoberge@hotmail.com.