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Dating Triumphs and Tragedies
by Nicole Roberge

Worth the Wait
Reconnecting with Past Dates

Last fall, I went on a few dates with a nice, fun, sweet, funny, great guy.  So what’s the catch?  Of course—there’s always a catch.

He had just moved to Connecticut and was still trying to get adjusted with not just the relocation, but his job and settling and meeting new people, figuring things out, etc. etc.—totally understandable.  If I were in his position, pursing a relationship probably wouldn’t be the first thing that I was out doing either.  But in a way, I was kind of in his position.  But only, in a different way of course.

I had come back to Connecticut from L.A. months before, was trying to find my niche, meet people in a place I had always known but that now seemed so unfamiliar, and figure out what I was going to do now that I was back here.  Yes, I wanted to meet people, go out, and have fun.  But was I ready for a serious relationship either?  Err…probably not.  And on top of that, my sister’s wedding was coming up, which had me a little occupied.  On his side, it was his job.

Then, our lives got busy.  He was still unsure of what we wanted, and I had my sister’s wedding coming up, and he was also traveling on business.  We sort of just slipped away from each other.  At the time, I figured it was just for the best, because I didn’t want to get too attached only to find he truly wasn’t ready for a relationship, and then get hurt.  So I moved on and sort of “forgot” to reply to that last email, and we just didn’t hear from each other again.  Though…in November…he did send me a “Happy Birthday” message.  Which was sweet.  And I said thanks…

Jump forward to March.  I’m usually good with birthdays.  Any dates actually.  I have this bizarre talent of remembering any date…whether a birthday, anniversary, or the date of that time you tripped and fell in front of the entire cafeteria in college….eight years ago.  It’s weird, but I have honed my talent well.

So anyway, I was sure I remembered his birthday, and since he so kindly remembered mine, I was going to wish him a merry one.  Yeah, I knew when it was.  Definitely.  Unless it was that date in May.  March or May.  One of the two.  But I figured that I better go with March first just in case, because then if I did it in May and he’s like, “It was in March!” I’d feel like a jerk.

So I emailed him.  Happy Birthday…I think it’s today…or May…but I know I have the date right…maybe not the month.  BLAH BLAH BLAH RAMBLE RAMBLE.

It’s May…just for the record.  But come on, I had the correct digits.

And turns out, he was happy to hear from me, and had been thinking of emailing me all week.  Seriously.  He had reasons, I won’t say what.  They go back to that laughing at anything, and something reminded him of me.  Cute.

So anyway, it was a happy coincidence that I screwed up his birthday and emailed him, because then we emailed back and forth a bit and he told me what he had been up to, and recollected how much fun we had together and brought up the idea of reconnecting.  Would I like to…?

Yes, I would.

We haven’t yet, because, you know…life…but maybe this week.  And then, we’ll see.

So for all you out there who maybe tried something and didn’t give it a shot as much as you would have liked to, and maybe still think about him—well maybe he still thinks about you.  There’s gotta be a reason he’s still on your mind.  Anything is worth a shot; it just takes a little effort.  Some time.  Because maybe it’s a cliché, but sometimes you don’t meet someone at the right time.  The moment’s not right, people aren’t at the right point in their lives and it can be a letdown.  But it doesn’t mean you have to give up.

You just have to wait it out.

And as many people know, the wait is usually worth it.

As for my wait, I’ll let you know….

Dating Triumphs and Tragedies is published every Sunday by Online Dating Magazine columnist Nicole Roberge. She can be reached at NicoleMRoberge@hotmail.com.