Online Dating Magazine > Columns > Dating Triumphs & Tragedies > Living Single

Dating Triumphs and Tragedies
by Nicole Roberge

Living Single

“So, are you dating anyone?” was the dreaded question that I recently found myself stuck facing.  But I was a little calmer that I guess I normally would have been.  I simply answered that I wasn’t at the moment, had just dated a couple guys, but wasn’t in a rush for anything.  “Well, you’re young,” was the response I got.

You’re young???  Who says that?  Was that some sort of pity-expression to be thrown on the single gals (who honestly might be a little content with their status) by those who think the key to happiness is to be permanently attached at the hip with someone—no matter who, or what, that person is.  I have to admit, I was a little peeved after that comment.  Though, I should have taken it as a compliment.  Yes, I’m young and can embrace the fact that I’m not acting like a hound dog for the next fella who passes my way.

For other people—a lot is wrong with it.  Other people are even more concerned with your dating life than you are.  It’s true.  I used to not have to worry about it so much because of my sister.  She had been dating her boyfriend for a while and would always get the comment: “So when are you gonna get married?” and I’d just sit back and laugh.  Occasionally, at family events, I’d get the, “So when are you gonna bring around a nice guy for us to meet.”  I’d laugh and say I wasn’t.  And my poor little brother doesn’t stand a chance.  Any girl who dares to date him will have to pass through my sister and I first.  And he gets teased anyway because he’s the youngest boy, but it’s always in good fun and people mean it as a joke.  They’re never serious about it the way they are with girls.

But now my sister is married, which makes me the single girl.  Thanks a lot, sis.  Now I get the attention, because my brother is off in college, and younger, so, let’s just put a spotlight on Nicole.  But then when I am dating someone, people start pulling out their list of questions to ask.  It’s a lose-lose situation.  Living single ain’t easy.

But why is it that people are so interested in the dating lives of others?  Is it that their romantic lives have become boring?  Perhaps they want a good story or juicy details.  Some, and this is true, are waiting for a fun wedding to go to.  And then there are those who are genuinely “concerned,” and still think that true happiness can only be found in another person.  While one can appreciate the fact that they care, times have changed, and older relatives may not realize how self-sufficient people are nowadays.  While yes, many still are hoping for a true romance, it does not mean that their life has to be constantly filled with date after date in search of Mr. Right.  Or, how might someone else put it…that their dance card is always full.

These situations can be awkward, whether you’re asked while alone or in a group of people.  Your best bet is to be honest and confident in your answer.  If you aren’t dating anyone and aren’t looking to, tell them that.  If you aren’t dating, but are looking, why not put that out there?  Maybe they know someone who could be a good catch for you.  And if you are dating someone and then they anxiously await the details, say what you want and no more.  It’ll keep them on their toes, and if things work out, then can ask him questions when you bring him to dinner at a later date.  Now that could be something to worry about.

Remember, what you’re doing in your life is your business, and what you choose to share is up to you.  Give thanks for the people who genuinely care, and for the nosy ones, well, that’s their problem.  But then look at all the hidden opportunities.  The only time someone asks you if you’re dating someone when you’re single, and it’s a really good thing—is when it’s a guy you’re interested in.  Then you can smile and gladly tell him, “why yes, I am.”  Then hope he is too.

Dating Triumphs and Tragedies is published every Sunday by Online Dating Magazine columnist Nicole Roberge. She can be reached at NicoleMRoberge@hotmail.com.

> Get $79 Off a 3 Month Subscription to PerfectMatch.com! <
Offer only available via the above link. Sign up and save!

All Online Dating Magazine content, including the content on this page,
is © copyright by Online Dating Magazine and may not be
republished or reused in any form. You do have
full permission to link to this article.

Do you agree or disagree with this article? Have
more to add? Submit a Letter to the Editor today.