April 1, 2015 –
The founder of BeautifulPeople.com, Robert Hintze, has been kicked off the exclusive online dating service for becoming “ugly.” In a move some deem “retribution,” the founder was forced off his own dating site after 97% of BeautifulPeople users gave Hintze a thumbs down, voting that he now is ugly. The move sent shockwaves through the company headquarters.
“Hodge Podge!” said managing director Greg Hodge. “We didn’t see that coming. It makes me nervous because I’m up for a vote next and I’m the most handsome guy in the office! Steve is a close second. I should go shower. Be right back.”
BeautifulPeople has made its fortunes by courting controversy to gain media attention for its service. The biggest came when they rejected Prince Harry from the service and then launched a reality TV show titled, “I Don’t Wanna Marry Harry. He’s Ugly.”
BeautifulPeople claims to have rejected 9.5 billion people worldwide.
“Our eyes burn from looking at the applicants,” said Hodge who returned from his shower. “How does my hair look?”'Our eyes are burning from looking at the applicants.' - BeautifulPeople director. Click To Tweet
Online Dating Magazine tried to contact Hintze for this story, but was told he was getting his eyebrows trimmed. Rumor is that Hintze is going to leave BeautifulPeople and start a duet singing career with Zayn Malik, the former One Direction star who recently left the group to work on his image. Hintze’s musical career stalled after he won his sixth grade talent show competition where he beat out four other middle school kids with a rendition of Madonna’s “Like a Virgin.” Apparently the two have already invested in BeautifulSingers.info in hopes of reviving both of their careers.