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JENNIFER'S GEMS
by Jennifer Brown Banks

Relationship Red Carpet Treatment

“We teach people how to treat us by the things we accept.”
~ Dr. Phil

Many women foolishly believe that chivalry is dead.

I beg to differ.

As Steve Harvey author and talk show host recently commented in an Oprah interview,”Chivalry is not dead. It's just not required.”

I couldn't agree more.  As a woman who is often treated “royally,” I can attest that chivalry is alive and well.

In this day and age, I still have men hold my doors, bestow me with beautiful gifts, and protect and provide for me.

And you can too!

The problem?

Blame it on the “man-shortage scare”, Women's Lib, the video culture, a decline in dating values, self esteem issues for females, or a lack of understanding of biblical principles as it relates to the “precious gems” women were divinely created to be.

But one thing's for sure: women are “lowering the bar” to the point that they are their own worst enemies in love and war.  Sisters can point the fingers all they want, but charity begins at home!

Adding to the madness as well, is the misconception that sex is the same as intimacy. 

So often women give their “essence” to men who don't even merit their phone numbers! Why would you “reward” your treasures to someone who doesn't truly treasure you?

HELLO?!

(But, that's a whole 'nother column). .:-) 

If you're tired of getting second-class treatment, and would like to elevate yourself in the eyes of the opposite sex, here's how to start!

THE TENETS OF RED CARPET TREATMENT

1. Recognize that a man's behavior directly coincides with the expectations of the woman he woos. In other words, like many things in life, the less you expect the less you get!
   
   
2. Stop “talkin' loud and sayin' nothin'.  Learn to make your point with poise, then move on. Don't take big stands on small issues.
   
   
3. Cultivate the art of being good company. Act like a lady, but give him the comfort and camaraderie of “one of the boys”. Let your hair down and laugh a little.
   
   
4. Don't cuss like a sailor! It erodes the respect factor.  Especially usage of the “B” word.
   
   
5. Make him feel valued.  Good treatment goes both ways. Pamper him and show him he's appreciated.
   
   
6. Don't let it all hang out.  It goes without saying that you should refrain from “cutting the cheese”, excessive belching, picking your teeth at the table, having bowel movements in front of him, and scratching in intimate places in his presence. There is such a thing as too much sharing. Really.
   
   
7. Never speak ill of his mom, the lack of money he makes, or his performance inadequacies. Words spoken in anger can never be taken back.
   
   
8. Keep your appearance up. Blue collar or white, old or young, rich or poor, men are visual creatures. Keep your body weight frame and age appropriate, wear feminine apparel, and accentuate the positive!
   
   
9. Never berate him in front of others.  Allow him to keep his dignity and he'll do the same for you.  Now when you get him home, that's another matter.  :-   )
   
   
10.  Never accept poor treatment. The first time it happens make him aware of it. The second time make him history.

And last but not least, exude confidence.  Men can smell poor self-image a mile away, and many capitalize upon it, as they perceive it as a weakness.

Follow these ten tips and you'll soon discover what a difference it'll make in your relationships.
Trust me when I tell you..

You'll love how you look in RED!

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Jennifer's Gems is a weekly column written by award-winning poet and writer, Jennifer Brown Banks. It is published every Wednesday. Click here to read her welcome letter.