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JENNIFER'S GEMS
by Jennifer Brown Banks

15 Reasons Writers Should Only Date Other Writers

Opposites attract, states a popular adage.

But I'm inclined to believe that these unions don't always have the staying power of those with core commonalities.

Take for instance writing. I find that it's sometimes difficult to date and deal with guys who are not creative creatures, and this can periodically cause conflict for me as a word smith.
Here's a case in point.

Some time ago, I was seeing a guy who owned his own construction business.
We were the epitome of “opposites attract.”  For him, his work days had very specific start and end times.  For writers it's not so cut and clear. Sometimes my “work days” start as early as 4:00 am. and end at 11:00 pm.
And “traditional holidays”? Forget it.  He wasn't cool with that!

For the life of me, I couldn't get him to understand that writing is not a choice, it's a calling.  That there is no way I can control the many thoughts that occupy my mind and demand to be released, even in the midst of a romantic evening.

On one such evening, my muse was especially hyperactive, and I was being mentally bombarded with all kinds of cool ideas for columns and articles, and projects, oh my!
Here's the clincher...these concepts and images appear like “Kodak moments”.
They absolutely have to be captured right away while they're vivid and fresh! I promise.

Anyhow, to avoid another disagreement about my being “distracted” when spending time with him, I snuck a pad and pen into the lady's room to “purge myself” (pardon the pun).

I thought to myself, there's gotta be a better way!  After all, there are worse things than dating a woman who's a professional writer, right?  I could be a serial killer. I could be a lie detector expert. Heck, I could be a “hoochie momma”. Are you feelin' me on this?

On one hand, he liked my intellectual ability, my sensitivity, and my conversational finesse, (traits that are characteristic of most writers). Yet he despised my line of work. Go figure.

This dating dynamic, I believe is why many actors and actresses date within their “community”.  Fellow actors and actresses know the life and are more receptive to what it entails.

With this in mind, here are 15 reasons writers should probably date other writers.

1. They understand the “craziness” of the business and the creative process.
   
   
2. They're part of the Cappuccino crowd. For them, Starbucks constitutes a romantic date.
   
   
3. They understand the importance of quiet time, even when together. “Silence can be golden.” They don't feel compelled to fill every void in conversation with meaningless chatter.
   
   
4. They respect the need for mental “space”.
   
   
5. They don't feel the need to compete with your computer.
   
   
6. They don't secretly plot to do harm to your computer.
   
   
7. They're passionate people who believe they can make a difference in the world.
   
   
8. Typically they view the “proverbial glass” as half full.
   
   
9. They have similar quirks and idiosyncrasies.
   
   
10. They know what “idiosyncrasies” means.
    
    
11. They're supportive during rejections and scarce work.
    
    
12. They can exchange creative ideas and collaborate on projects.
    
    
13. They're cute.:-)
    
    
14. They're less demanding financially because they understand the “starving artist” lifestyle.
    
    
15. There's more harmony and flow.

If you're  a writer, or would just like to know where to find us hot writer chicks, here are a few places you'll frequently find us congregating:

• Coffeehouses—Starbucks and cheaper versions
  
  
• Bookstores—Barnes and Nobles, Borders
  
  
• Anyplace that accepts coupons
  
  
• Art galleries and museums
  
  
• Office supply stores—Staples, Office Depot, your local chain
  
  
• Poetry readings
  
  
• Karaoke bars---Check on line to find venues in your local area
  
  
• Parks and beaches

Hope to see you soon. :-)

Jennifer's Gems is a weekly column written by award-winning poet and writer, Jennifer Brown Banks. It is published every Wednesday. Click here to read her welcome letter.

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