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JENNIFER'S GEMS
by Jennifer Brown Banks

Are You Making it Easy for the Clean Up Woman?

“The clean up woman will wipe his blues away. She'll give him plenty lovin' 24 hours a day.”
~ -BETTY WRIGHT

It's been decades since Betty Wright exposed us to the “clean-up woman” through provocative lyrics and her no-nonsense lessons in love.

Still, in this day and age, I witness so many women foolishly handing their men over to other females on a silver platter, due to oversights and a lack of understanding about the dynamics of male/female relationships.

Sistahs, a good man is a real commodity these days.

If you've been fortunate enough to find one, I'd advise you to play it smart and heed these cardinal rules to keeping him.

Don't get me wrong, if a guy is at heart a 'slick Rick”, or a cheating Chester, chances are, that no tricks or treats will completely affair-proof your relationship, or keep him from testing the other waters.  But, in those situations, consider it a blessing in disguise if you do  in fact “lose him”.

This column is for preserving relationships with guys who are considered “keepers” by most standards.  You know the ones...(employed, enlightened, etc.)

So allow me to break it down like a fraction reduced to its simplest terms...

Here are the seven ways women make it easy for the clean-up woman to do irreparable damage. “TAKE A TIP, YOU BETTER GET HIP.”

1. DIVULGING TOO MUCH “DETAILS” TO GIRLFRIENDS ¬ There's no doubt about it, when a man has the ability to rock a woman's world, he becomes the subject of inner-circle gossip and giggles. Who wouln't want to boast about a good thing, right? Not necessarily.  Don't be too quick to give the 4-1-1- on your guys “skills”.  Your “girl” could secretly want what you have, and go after it.  It's how a close friend of mine lost her man to her best friend.  Be forewarned.

2. ENGAGING IN LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS FOR LONG PERIODS OF TIME ¬ Though it's true that “absence makes the heart grow fonder,” it can also open the door to emotional affairs with others, particularly with the advent of the Internet, chat rooms, and social networks.  Love is tough enough; don't start off with a strike against you.

3. NOT STROKING HIS EGO ¬ Despite their macho persona, men need words of affirmation just as much as women.  Whether he's a doctor, lawyer, or Indian Chief, lift him up in words and actions. Let him no how strong and wonderful he is, and how much you need him.:-)

4. TOO MUCH SMOTHERING OR TOO MUCH MOTHERING ¬ As with all things in life, moderation is the key!

5. SHARING LIVING SPACE WITH ANOTHER FEMALE ¬ To quote a popular expression used by an elderly friend, “Never bring a fox to a hen house.”  The popular  program “Cheaters” has goo-gobs of episodes with room mates that end up being soul mates.  If you have to help a friend in need, offer financial assistance, advice, or other accommodations at a local hotel.  Better safe than sorry.

6. BEING TOO TRUSTING ¬ Everybody deserves benefit of the doubt, however trust should be earned. If his alibis seem more like lies, investigate and act accordingly.

 7. LETTING THE APPEARANCE GO ¬ Men are visual creatures. Bottom line. Though we shouldn't be expected to look like runway models 24/7, paying attention to weight, dressing in a flattering manner, and accentuating the positive, should be done on an ongoing basis.

Keep these cardinal rules in mind for your love to go the distance, and to keep the clean up woman at bay!

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Jennifer's Gems is a weekly column written by award-winning poet and writer, Jennifer Brown Banks. It is published every Wednesday. Click here to read her welcome letter.