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JENNIFER'S GEMS
by Jennifer Brown Banks

In Praise of
Older Men

The furnace that heats my home as a “built date” of 1954. It’s older than I am.  With the exception of a few periodic replacement parts, it has performed like a champ!

In fact, when I look around my home and other settings that possess/reflect things from different time periods, there’s an inescapable truth: older things often are of greater value.

I’m finding that this principle can often be applied to men!

There’s a common misconception when an attractive woman dates a guy who is apparently much older, that she ‘s somehow “settling,” or that he’s a “sugar daddy.”

Well, let me state for the record that ain’t always so!

I was pleasantly surprised some years ago when I stumbled across a gem of a gentleman that was more than a decade my senior. As much as I initially resisted him, he wore me down with his charm!

Eventually I gave in.  And boy, am I glad I did. I found him to be worldly, intelligent, classy, funny, patient, and very easy to be with.  Not only that, he allowed me to be totally who I am. He didn’t try to change me, or compete with me, or make unreasonable demands.

Being with him was peaceful and pleasurable.  And he was far from feeble!  “Adam” was highly energetic and in good shape for a guy his age.  Since him, I am more convinced that age is merely a number.
And just to think of all the drama, silliness, and game playing that was a part of younger guys’ dating rituals, (though not all of them). 

So, if a girl allows herself to be open to the possibilities, here are a few new pleasures to experience with older men.

AN OPEN MIND
Usually guys who are older are more receptive to ideas that differ from their own.  They can be more flexible in their way of thinking, because they’ve been exposed to more.

LESS JUDGEMENT
Older fellas’ can figure out more due to worldly wisdom.

MORE REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS
He won’t expect you to be a size “4” after having 3 babies!  Nor will he typically expect you to do all the work in the relationship.

CHIVALROUS TREATMENT
They often remember to hold doors, pull out chairs, and flag a cab for you, because many grew up in an era when it was the norm.

GREATER EARNINGS/MORE INDEPENDENCE
Aren’t you tired of guys who live at home in their mama’s basement?  Not to mention the ones that can only afford to take you out on the 1st of the month and the 15th.

NO SMALL KIDS AS PART OF THE DATING DYNAMICS
I love kids, but let’s face it; in relationships they can cause some drama from time to time---whether they are his kids or yours.

A GREATER SENSE OF PERSONAL DIRECTION
A woman doesn’t usually hear things like “I need to find myself” from an older man.  He has clear-cut goals, he generally knows what he’s looking for in a relationship, and he’s made enough mistakes to get it right this time!

HE VALUES YOUR FULL DIMENSIONS
Not just your “womanly” ones.  He knows you have opinions—in fact, he’ll often seek them!

FEWER NIGHTS OUT WITH THE FELLAS
Thank God that at some point in a man’s social and spiritual development, this becomes a less desired pastime!

HE GIVES SAGE ADVICE
Age comes with wisdom, many times, and his perspectives will show it.  He is able to intelligently address problems on the job, career decisions, fall out with friends, and financial issues as well.  Why?  Because he’s “done that and been there!”

Want to change your dating prospects in 2008?  Then change the way you view dating.  Learn to have fewer “guidelines” and more good times!
Check out what Big Papa can offer.

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Jennifer's Gems is a weekly column written by award-winning poet and writer, Jennifer Brown Banks. It is published every Wednesday. Click here to read her welcome letter.