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Online Dating Magazine > Online Dating Experiences > 53 - Dangers of Online Dating

Online Dating Experience
Online Dating Dangers

37 year old female from the US

 

I believe that the dangers of online dating should be made more readily available. Without dramatizing too much i had my heart ripped out by a guy, I met online. It is fair to say that he did state he was married and i was very wary about his intentions but during the course of the 18 months that we were speaking and him saying how his marriage was bad and how i was "The ONE", how we needed to be strong to make this work, how numerous occasions he had wanted to meet and then it never happened. We spoke through MSN, Skype and even in a virtual world (which is evil!!) So along with an intense and emotional experience with this guy, trying to understand how it was so cruel that all the odds were against us etc. I decided one day just out of curiosity to check out a few things. I don't know why i hadn't thought about this before but i suppose when you are fed this kind of emotion and you build up trust with someone, you don't want to kind of rock the boat.

This guy was rather hidden on the internet (take note - deceivers try to hide). I must warn you that you need to check this person out first and believe me this will save a lot of heartache in the long run. I found sex sites that he was set up on, alternative avatar accounts where he used two types of alter egos. One to declare his love for women and the other to use women as slaves. I even spoke to a number of women who had also been fooled by him. Things got messy between us because I was so hurt and upset by the lies that he seemed to feed women. The weird thing was, he did talk about his family and his life and that seemed to be true but his emotions and addiction to sex and the deception that he was spreading onto innocent women just ate me up inside. I have always been a very strong person but for 18 months it has dominated my thoughts. He has been cruel because he should have ended it instead he only ended it when i found out about him and told him i was telling his wife.

During this time i have seen countless sites, all mainly related to sex. It is a haven for married men to get their kicks out of innocent women. Please investigate carefully when meeting someone online. This caring guy who was so softly spoken on the phone, who seemed to try so hard to keep in contact with me, who although his marriage was so bad (so he says) was willing to make the effort to contact me when he could. Yes i was naive, i was new to the online dating scene internet, i was vulnerable (great for a groomer!!) During the course of my own investigation, for my own peace of mind, i found countless Skype accounts, MSN and avatars on SecondLife I also found that he has been harbouring women back as far as 2004. This is wrong and i have found the whole experience very hard to accept. It has taken up nearly 2 years of my life. A life where i should have been out dating real men in the real world but even that seems so hard to do, after he has knocked my confidence, the feeling of rejection does get carried over in to your everyday life. Its very difficult to ascertain their motives. I am trying to forgive but the only way to do that is to consider the sadness he must have in his own life to spend all his time on the internet seeking his next big adventure. He is in his early 40's and believe me there are a lot of men on the internet looking for that thrill from many women.

Please please be careful and wary and extra vigilant with people on the internet who promise you the earth. I should have stepped back when all the talk of meeting never happened and i should have also searched for the information at the beginning. In normal circumstances i would never have been sucked in like i did and then left so helpless. You see the difficult element with the internet is....closure. In normal 'real life' you are able to maybe have the opportunity to say air your views face to face. On the internet you are relying on technology to do that for you, and if that person decides to shut off ties or not respond to emails or phone calls, it just adds to more frustration. People can be who they want to be on the internet. I would like to think that during the 18 months, i was fortunate enough to have some truth, to be blessed with some feelings that showed the real true person from before his addiction to the internet took hold over him and he just became........'TheONE behind the glass screen'


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