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Online Dating Experience 32
No Responses From Women
26 year old male
from Colorado
My experience
seem to be in line with most of the other men here.
I have been doing the online dating thing for about
a year or so off and on. At one point I had sent over
50 emails to 50 different women. I got three responses
initially but none of them ever wrote back a second
time. The most irritating thing is that none of the
women I emailed even bothered to send a polite "Sorry,
not interested" response, which to me seemed
rude at the time as I had put a considerable amount
of effort into writing each email. In retrospect I
can only imagine that the reason is that most women
on these sites receive dozens of emails and simply
cannot respond to them all. It seems there is a vicious
cycle at work here. Men send out tons of emails because
they rarely get a response. Women rarely respond as
they get tons of email. So we men respond by sending
out more emails.
I decided to try a little experiment in order to verify
my theory. I set up a free account on a dating service
as a woman and included a picture of a female friend
of mine. She gave me permission to do this by the way.
Basically it was a profile for her. I posted it at
10pm mountain time. By 9am the next morning there were
11 emails waiting! I had to laugh. As a man I have
never had a woman initiate by sending me an email first.
It seems that is just the way women and men work.
It still seemed odd to me that in many of these profiles
I read the woman says she is lonely and looking for
a good guy. So why no response at all? After reading
about it on the internet and on this site I guess the
problem stems from the fact that most women don't
pay for their membership and are unable to reply to
an email through the site. This seemed odd to me so
I asked a female friend about this tendency and she
informed me that women as she put it don't feel like
they should have to make the first move.
I'm not trying to be harsh to women at all. That
just seems to be the way that it works. For better
or worse. Besides I am sure women have many valid complaints
about men as well. Probably more than we have about
them. But all this is something for us guys to keep
in mind. Best of luck to all the men and women out
there!
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