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Online Dating Experience 32
No Responses From Women

26 year old male from Colorado

My experience seem to be in line with most of the other men here. I have been doing the online dating thing for about a year or so off and on. At one point I had sent over 50 emails to 50 different women. I got three responses initially but none of them ever wrote back a second time. The most irritating thing is that none of the women I emailed even bothered to send a polite "Sorry, not interested" response, which to me seemed rude at the time as I had put a considerable amount of effort into writing each email. In retrospect I can only imagine that the reason is that most women on these sites receive dozens of emails and simply cannot respond to them all. It seems there is a vicious cycle at work here. Men send out tons of emails because they rarely get a response. Women rarely respond as they get tons of email. So we men respond by sending out more emails.

I decided to try a little experiment in order to verify my theory. I set up a free account on a dating service as a woman and included a picture of a female friend of mine. She gave me permission to do this by the way. Basically it was a profile for her. I posted it at 10pm mountain time. By 9am the next morning there were 11 emails waiting! I had to laugh. As a man I have never had a woman initiate by sending me an email first.

It seems that is just the way women and men work. It still seemed odd to me that in many of these profiles I read the woman says she is lonely and looking for a good guy. So why no response at all? After reading about it on the internet and on this site I guess the problem stems from the fact that most women don't pay for their membership and are unable to reply to an email through the site. This seemed odd to me so I asked a female friend about this tendency and she informed me that women as she put it don't feel like they should have to make the first move.

I'm not trying to be harsh to women at all. That just seems to be the way that it works. For better or worse. Besides I am sure women have many valid complaints about men as well. Probably more than we have about them. But all this is something for us guys to keep in mind. Best of luck to all the men and women out there!


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