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Online Dating Experience 10
Frustration with Online Dating
38 year old male from Illinois
It was about three months ago that I
plunged head-on into online dating, after having dabbled
in it very unsuccessfully for a summer a while back.
About me: I'm 38 but look 10 years younger, am considered
by others to be attractive, have a fit, toned body
and have never emailed a woman with any sort of embarrassing
faux pas.
The lessons I've learned are this: apparently the
men-to-women ratio must be at least 25 to 1, or even
50. My response rate, for instance, at Match.com is
less than 1%! For all the talk of all the jerks women
attract online, a well-spoken, decent-looking guy with
an obvious sense of humor still doesn't fare any better!
As the other guy mentioned, and from some of the exchanges
I've had, decent-looking women are overwhelmed with
responses from guys. I have no idea what their criteria
is in selecting. I'm totally baffled. No matter how
well-written a response you provide, it doesn't seem
to affect the response rate. On the flip-side, the
responses I get from women — who rarely initiate
anything on these
sites — have been from depressingly unattractive
and older women whom I would never consider.
Match.com is
the obvious master, with the most results and most
new faces. LavaLife is
okay but rarely seems to get a lot of new faces. Matchmaker has
the coolest setup but again: never seems to have any
new faces. One recurring annoying problem is lots of
photos of attractive women that are still up... even
though she hasn't been on the site in months (a sign
she's found somebody). Stay away from DreamDates and
DreamMates (different sites) — talk about
no new faces!
Finally, as it turned out, I went on a date with somebody
from Matchmaker whom I had emailed and
then had an hour and a half phone conversation with,
which went great. The sad ending was that while her
pictures were attractive enough and she listed her
body type as "weight and height proportionate," in
person she was considerably heavier and that sank the
date right there. Why people lie about that when ultimately
they will be discovered is beyond me.
In the end, I'll give it another month but as an
investment it has not paid off at all. I'm sure for
attractive women it's an instant way to attract hundreds
of suitors, but for guys it appears to be merely a
way to be lost in the onslaught.
I haven't tried eHarmony yet.
Perhaps I'll give them the last chance to redeem online
dating. But for the money it's cost this has been a
virtual zero return on the investment, and I'd rather
take my chances the old-fashioned way rather than spend
any more time writing thoughtful responses to women
I know will never reply.
Sorry for the downer, but I call 'em like I see 'em.
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