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Date & Relate
by Sara Hodon

Create a Love Stimulus Plan

You’d have to be living in a pretty dark cave to not know that stimulus plans are all over the news these days.  It seems that everyone is hopping on the bandwagon and creating ones of their own. I’ve seen everything from stores to Chambers of Commerce advertising a plan to kickstart the less-than-promising economy.

If you find your social calendar in a bit of a slowdown (let’s see how many financial buzzwords I can work into this piece), it might be a good opportunity for you to see what’s working, what’s not, and try some new approaches to dating.    Let’s call it your Love Stimulus Plan.   Hey, if they can try it for banks and the auto industry, why not for matters of the heart?  Just for fun, I came up with a few ideas to help you bail out your love life:

Examine your assets. 
Ask your friends or trusted co-workers to give you some completely honest feedback.  What are your best qualities?  What are the areas where you could use a little boost?  Show off the things that you like best about yourself, be it physical (play up your great smile), or a personality trait (killer sense of humor, loyal friend, animal lover), but be aware of your weaknesses, too.  Maybe you have a short temper, are chronically disorganized, have a tendency to gossip, or can never seem to be on time.  Make an effort to work on those things that you’d like to change about yourself.  Don’t dwell on your shortcomings on dates—if you can’t be positive about yourself, how can you expect the other person to realize what a great catch you are? 

Withdraw.    
The next time you go out, maintain eye contact with as many guys as you can.   Get as many phone numbers as possible the next time you go out.   Enjoy the chance to let them sweat it out and wait by the phone for your call for a change! 

Deposit. 
Give your number to as many potential dates as possible in a given night.  Resist the urge to call them—if they’re truly interested, expect a call.   

Accumulate interest. 
Crank up your social calendar and set an ambitious goal.    Why not see how many dates you can line up in a given period of time?    One woman on Good Morning America went on 30 dates in 30 days.   Or see how many different ways you can meet people in a certain amount of time.  Another woman set a goal of finding a husband in 1 year.  Whatever your goal may be, this is your chance to dream big! 

Create a rainy day fund.    
You never know when you may need a date for something.  A friend’s wedding or a work function might pop up unexpectedly, and it’s always good to have a few “fall back” dates you can rely on.  Typically, your best friend of the opposite sex or your best work buddy can step in and be your date.  But why play it safe?  Use your friend’s nuptials as an excuse to get to know your new cubicle-mate, and once you’ve established a bit of a bond, then ask them to go with you.   Or work up the nerve to ask out the guy you’ve been noticing at the gym.  Even if nothing romantic develops, you can add them to your list of “standby” dates!

Refinance.   
Once you’ve successfully “accumulated interest” and have gone on as many dates as possible, you may want to consider narrowing down your prospects and getting serious about one of them.  It’s almost impossible to keep up such an active social calendar forever.   The plan of setting up as many dates as possible in a short amount of time was simply to get your love life fired up.  Now that the fire has been lit and you’re definitely picking up on some good vibes, what’s next?   We’re living in unstable times—it’s a nice feeling to have something you can rely on.   

Pay those penalties. 
Not every date will be Prince Charming, but all dates are valuable in that they get you closer to what you do want.   However you decide to “stimulate” your love life, aim high but don’t forget your list of date “must haves”!   

Save, save, save. 
At the risk of repeating myself, though it’s important to date and meet as many people as you can, save your heart for the one who gets your pulse racing and makes you feel good about yourself.    

Date & Relate is published every Thursday by Online Dating Magazine columnist Sara Hodon.

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