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JENNIFER'S GEMS
by Jennifer Brown Banks
Men
Demystified
(And Other Comic Relief...)
"Some
husbands are living proof that women can take a joke"
~ anonymous
If
you’ve been having a hard time figuring out
the fellas, and decoding their “mars” messages,
help is here! Author Cameron Tuttle, brilliantly
and boldly breaks it down in her humorous series
of books and products found at www.badgirlswirl.com.
I
discovered her wit and wisdom quite by accident today,
while shopping for treasures at my local thrift store,
and stumbling upon her “The Bad Girl’s
2007 Calendar”. I couldn’t put it down!
This
clever calendar contains quips, historical tips, quotes,
naughty notes, and more. In addition to keeping you organized
with your hot dates, it will keep you in stitches! When
thumbing through the pretty pink pages, I laughed so
hard I ended up with sore cheeks! And you will too.
Here's
a preview:
What
He Says: I really get into talking about my feelings.
What He Means: I’ll talk about feelings if it gets
me in your pants
What
He Says: I go out with my buddies at least once a
week.
What He Means: I’m dating other women.
What
He Says: I’m not looking for a serious relationship
right now.
What He Means: Wanna do it?
What
He Says: The sexiest thing about you is your mind.
What He Means: You’re not that attractive, but
I’ll sleep with you.
What
He Says: She has nothing to do with us.
What He Means: I don’t even think about you when
I sleep with her.
What
He Says: My pager is the best way to reach me.
What He Means: I'm married.
What
He Says: I still really value you as a friend.
What He Means: I still want you for booty calls.
And
for those who are unemployed or (under)employed,
here are pointers she provides on paving over resume
gaps:
What
You Did Last Year: Collected unemployment & watched
TV
What You Say You Did:
Media expert specializing in the youth market
What
You Did Last Year: Spent six months in the state
pen
What You Say You Did: Six months on a meditation retreat
What
You Did Last Year: Worked at Blockbuster
What You Say You Did: Feature-film distributor
What
You Did Last Year: Answered phones
What You Say You Did: Telecommunications consultant
What
You Did Last Year: Stayed on couch in utter depression
What You Say You Did: Studied interior design
What
You Did Last Year: Got stoned constantly
What You Say You Did: Extensive pharmaceutical research
What
You Did Last Year: Got laid off (w/severance pkg.)
What You Say You Did: Raised venture capital funding for start up
Is
this funny stuff or what? Reflected here is just
a tiny fraction of what you’ll find between
the many pages of this cool calendar/book.
And
speaking of humor… Did you know that laughter
is truly the best medicine? If you’re looking
for a way to de-stress from workplace woes or dating
dramas, have a chuckle or two! Studies show that
it decreases stress levels and improves general well
being.
Need
more laughter in your life? Here’s
a quick fix!
12
Things to do to Tickle Your Funny Bone:
1.
Check out the cute, weekly
cartoons here at Online
Dating Magazine.
2.
Pull out your old high school photos—Can you believe that’s
you?
3.
Tune into “THANK GOD YOU’RE HERE” a
new, outrageous improv show with David Alan Grier
(check your local listings for details).
4.
Check out www.sanitycentral.com. See the “DAD LIBS” column.
5.
Visit a local comedy club in your area.
6.
Purchase any title by Erma Bombeck “Motherhood, the
2nd Oldest Profession”, is a good one, or Aunt
Erma’s Cope Book.
7.
Spend a few hours in the company of children. Don’t have any? Make a
visit to the neighborhood playground. (Be careful
to not come off as a stalker).
8.
Take a trip to the circus.
9.
Learn to look at the lighter side of things. You’ll live longer.
10.
Have you paid attention to the creative commercials
for cell phones? Many are hilarious!
11.
Can you say “Three
Stooges”?
12.
Check out the funny pages in the daily newspaper.
Or invest in a comic book or two.
Get
the idea? Now, get going! Life is a celebration.
Find joy in each day.
Jennifer's
Gems is
a weekly column written by award-winning poet
and writer, Jennifer
Brown Banks. It is published every Wednesday. Click
here to read her welcome letter.
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