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JENNIFER'S GEMS
by Jennifer Brown Banks
Interracial
Dating
Can a Soulmate be of a Different Race?
When
Spike Lee came out with the blockbuster hit “Jungle
Fever” he took the world by storm! Here it
was before us on big screen---- the complexities,
trials and tribulations, and intrigue of black on
white love.
This
controversial and candid film provoked dialogue,
and caused audiences everywhere to examine the state
of race relations in this country. We saw the good,
the bad, and the ugly of what happens when people
of different worlds come together to share one.
Though
mixed matings have existed for centuries, many saw
it as a raw, accurate depiction of the dating scene
as it exists today. Due to more integrated work environments
and diverse communities, people of different racial,
religious, and professional backgrounds are interacting
and ultimately falling in love. And doing so in record
numbers.
According
to U.S. Census reports, interracial marriages more
than doubled between 1980 and 1995. Black/White marriages
increased an estimated 96% overall, with marriages
between Black women and White men increasing 171%.
Blacks with other races increased 124% during this
timeframe.
The
incidence of interracial dating has increased among
youth dramatically as well. According to recent studies
as many as 57% have dated someone outside their own
race.
Still,
with changing attitudes and greater acceptance, not
everyone is a fan of these types of unions.
Some
Blacks view the situation from a historical standpoint.
Remembering the centuries of bondage, pain, and degradation
imposed by slavery, they view “crossing over” as “selling
out.” They vow that they would rather be dead
or do without than to do the “salt and pepper
thing.” Some of my friends included.
Others
don’t see love as a matter of black and white,
but more of a grey area with many variables—like
lifestyle compatibility, mutual belief systems, background,
level of attraction, and motives. Some of my friends
included.
Relationship
experts are divided.
According
to Dr. Joyce Brothers “It is possible for an
interracial marriage to flourish and be warmly rewarding,
but there are severe strains in these marriages not
present in others.” There can be family disapproval.
Even more than disapproval, heartbreak.”
Dr.
Fred A. Clark says black women have been marrying
white men “for
quite some time,” especially in California, but
it is just more open now. People don’t feel like
they have to hide their true feelings anymore,” says
Dr. Clark, a social-psychologist who facilitates interracial
and intercultural counseling groups.
Dr.
Harriette P. McAdoo, a psychologist and professor
at Michigan State asserts “There are really too few Black
men around for Black women, and even fewer for Black
women of achievement. “For Black women, there
are between 35 to 45 men available for every 100 women."
A
poll conducted by Interrace Magazine, in its May, 2000
issue revealed that geographical location makes a difference
in terms of how mixed couples are embraced. In their
3rd Best and Worst Cities poll, readers were asked
to rate their cities according to general and interracial
life, and whether they would recommend their home towns
to other interracial couples.
What
are the best and worst cities for interracial couples?
Here’s
how the different cities rated. (Sampling)
ALABAMA
(Birmingham and Mobile) - F - not recommended
ALASKA
(Anchorage) - B - recommended)
ARIZONA
(Phoenix and Tucson) - A - recommended
CALIFORNIA
(Fremont and Oakland) - A - recommended
(Los Angeles)
- C
FLORIDA
(Miami) - C
(Jacksonville) - A - recommended
GEORGIA
(Atlanta) - C
ILLINOIS
(Chicago) - B - recommended
INDIANA
(Argos)
- F - not recommended
(South Bend) - A - recommended
LOUISIANA
(Baton Rouge) - F - not recommended
BOSTON
(Massachusetts) - F - not recommended
Is
love color blind? Is interracial dating still taboo?
Opinion varies.
A
friend of mine states “When I was younger, I might have considered
what other people had to say before I’d date
a man of another race. Now that I’m older, single,
searching and more tolerant, I say he could be green
and from MARS. As long as he’s kind, straight,
and sincere, I don’t see a problem. If he can
handle what are bound to be some “race issues” send
him my way!
Famous
Interracial Couples (past and present)
Roger Ebert and Chaz Hammel Smith
Iman and David Bowie
Lynn Whitfield and Brian Gibson
Whoopi Goldberg and
Ted Danson
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Jennifer's
Gems is a weekly column written by award-winning
poet and writer, Jennifer
Brown Banks. It is published
every Wednesday. Click
here to read
her welcome letter.
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