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 Editorial:
Online Dating in Danger of Negative Branding
by Joe Tracy, Publisher of Online
Dating Magazine
(November 2003) The Online Dating industry
is in serious danger of becoming a branded institution
for
only people
wanting sex after a dating service (which will remain
unnamed as not to advertise them) released a press
release stating that in a poll of its members,
"60 percent have had sex on the first date, while
over a third
of those
report
doing so on a regular basis."
Why a dating site would want to conduct
a survey like this is beyond me. And why they would
want to send out a press release touting the figure
is mind-boggling. Is the purpose of dating sites to
serve
as online pimps
or is it to help build meaningful relationships?
In the early days of online dating, services
were branded as "dangerous" due to widespread media
reports of several high-profile crimes resulting from
two people meeting online. Interestingly enough, most
of these reports had nothing to do with online dating
services, yet the branding stuck for several years.
However, in the past few years online
dating services have become recognized as an excellent
way for people to meet. Talk shows often feature happy
couples who met online. When at a gathering, it's not
unheard of to hear a couple say they met online. Even
singer Paula Abdul paid a dating service $10,000 to
help her find a boyfriend (which they did), according
to In Touch magazine. These services have been an excellent
resource for building successful and meaningful relationships.
But now the industry is beginning to
take a few steps backwards by not making attempts to
kill a new stigma that is arising - that dating services
are the place to go for new sex partners versus finding
someone with whom to build a meaningful relationship.
It's no wonder that more and more females are telling
me that they are disgusted when logging on to certain
dating services and being immediately bombarded with
instant messages asking if they want sex! Many services
are creating a negative experience for sincere people
looking for a meaningful relationship. And the result
is that they leave the service and warn other women.
It's important to remember that for every cause there
is an effect and for every effect there is a result.
Cause: Stigma of dating sites being a
sex meeting place where men often proposition women.
Effect: Women seeking a meaningful
relationship leave the service with a negative experience
and tell
other women to "watch out".
Result: More and more quality women
stop using the services, thus creating a much larger
gap
between men and women (most sites are now around
70 percent men and 30 percent women).
And here's another cause, effect, and
result:
Cause: A site puts
out a press release bragging that 60% of its members
report having sex
on the first date.
Effect: Media report that online services
are becoming the new pimping grounds.
Result: The sites draw more people looking
only for sex rather than looking for a meaningful relationship
or serious dates.
It's no wonder that sites like eHarmony are
becoming more popular for their ability to "weed
out" people looking only for sex by presenting
a site designed only to match people based on "proven"
relationship
research methods. The downside, though, is that the
monthly fee is nearly double that of other sites! It's
almost a no-win situation.
I would encourage dating services to
take control of this problem before it takes control
of them. How? Here's a few ideas:
1) If the dating site has an Instant
Messaging feature, give the users the ability to turn
that feature off.
2) All dating sites
should allow users to block anyone they deem necessary
and the process
should be easy to use.
3) Create policy rules governing people
IMing dozens of people a day only to ask for sex. Enforce
the rules when receiving numerous complaints of offenders.
4) Moderate public
chat rooms. Currently, dating sites that don't have
a chat room moderator are
being inundated with people asking for cyber sex.
5) Improve matching techniques based
on relationship principles.
6) Keep advertising on a high level that
emphasizes the relationship abilities versus the sexual
possibilities.
7) Put out press releases touting the
success of relationships from meeting online versus
the number of people having sex on the first date!
Online
dating is one of the greatest revolutions to hit the
dating industry in decades.
Tens of thousands of people have met and eventually
married through this process.
Right
now the online dating industry controls its
own fate in how it is perceived by the media and the
public. By working on continuing to build a better
reputation, the industry can continue to dispel bad
stigmas being put on it by a few bad apples. As a result,
more quality people will join the services and more
success stories will be broadcast around the globe.
That's how I see it at least.
Joe Tracy
jtracy@onlinedatingmagazine.com
> Try Perfectmatch.com - The Best Approach to Finding the Right Person for You.
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