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Turn-ons and Turn-offs for Men and Women
How Men and Women Show Affection Differently
What are the
top turn-ons and turn-offs for men and women?
It would seem that physical attractiveness and attitude
are the major turn-ons (or offs!) for both sexes. Let’s
face it, men and women both care about how good someone
looks and how well that person “carries” him
or herself. Women tend to be more forgiving about looks
and place more stock in personality and economic and
psychological stability in a potential partner. Men
do care about looks – but even looks can take
a backseat to “attitude.” Remember what
I wrote in an earlier column, most men will approach
a “plain Jane” over a “blonde bombshell” if
Jane sends out “go” signals when the blonde
But from my conversations with actual singles about
the issue of turn-ons and turn-offs, I have found a
great deal of overlap in what people liked and disliked
in their dates. Popular turn-ons included having a
sense of humor (and smiling a lot), being attentive
to the other’s needs, having a romantic or passionate
attitude, speaking and acting in an intelligent manner,
being well-groomed and showing good manners, and finally
acting comfortable and at ease.
Of course, knowing what not to do is as important
as knowing what to do. The popular themes in people’s
strongest turn-offs were poor dress and hygiene (including
bad breath!), acting bored or self-absorbed, showing
poor sense of humor and poor manners, not listening,
and lastly not making good eye contact. I guess it
comes down to a simply recipe actually:
» Having a mindset that you are attractive
and sincerely want to be with the other person
» Putting that mindset into action by having
excellent hygiene, eye contact, and basic manners
» Finally, wrapping up your positive mental attitude
and courteous behavior with the unique characteristics
that make you who you are – such as your sense
of humor, personality, and ability to be in the moment
and enjoy the other person.
Please take time to email me right now if I have missed
something really important!
Do Men and Women
Show Affection Differently?
Yes, often times they do. Knowing about this difference in expression for affection
can help you not jump to conclusions next time your partner does something… or
maybe that should read… doesn’t do something.
Basically, women desire more emotional sharing and
affection than men. To this end, women tend to say “I
love you” more often and exhibit more nonverbal
emotional expression and eye contact – such as
using empathetic touches and other gestures that convey
support and nurturance. On the other hand, men tend
to express affection through sexual intimacy. Furthermore,
men are natural analysts and problem-solvers. Rather
than saying “I love you” or placing a nurturing
hand on your shoulder or openly talking about their
feelings, men are also more likely to show affection
through direct actions. For instance, a man might discuss
solutions to problems, buy gifts, take their better
halves out to dinner, or even paint the garage.
The point is… men and women both need intimacy
in a relationship. However, the way they express and
experience affection and intimacy can be quite different.
Don’t assume you can fully read your partner’s
mind… or his/her actions. If you have a need
that is not being met, please talk to your partner
and gain understanding. It’s whole lot better
for your long-term relationship than jumping to conclusions
and gaining misunderstanding and resentment.
> Perfectmatch.com - The best approach to find the one.
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