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 Dating Triumphs and Tragedies
by Nicole
Roberge
Getting
to Really Know Your Date
I
was speaking with my married friend, “Georgia,” again,
and she was talking about when she was dating her
husband and all of the crazy things she wanted to
do that he accompanied her on. Things that she probably
couldn’t have gotten friends or family to go
with her to see—like a certain Royal she had
a bit of an obsession with. He was by her side and
she was happy to have him there. He didn’t
think it was crazy, he was happy to see her happy,
and his company was of course nice. She joked that,
of course, once your married, men don’t need
to do those things. Apparently, that is part of the
wooing process.
When
dating, you can get men to do anything with you,
because they want to impress you, be there for you
and make you think that they will go on those crazy
excursions you go on, but once you’re married, you’re on your own, baby.
He’s got you, he doesn’t need to go with
you to the Bubblegum Factory to taste-test 50 flavors
of bubblegum just to show you he’ll be there.
He’s already there. “Have fun, honey!
Tell me how the Corned Beef Gum tastes!” Eww.
We
were just joking around,
and her husband is of course
by her side for everything,
but her comment about her dragging
her then-boyfriend to see a
Royal in another state was
interesting, and got me curious.
She claimed that those are
the type of things guys are
willing to do with you when
you’re dating, and joked that
is the time to get them to do all those things that you
really want them to do with you. But is it true? Will
guys really do anything for the girl they are dating?
And come on, aren’t women kind of the same?
Before
I examined my own life, I thought of others around
me. My sister’s fiancé lives in another state,
and comes up every other weekend. I get a kick out of
how they just seem to run errands and such when he comes
over, and especially love it when he goes with her to
get her nails done. He’s a trooper, he goes willingly,
and he even took our family’s two bulldogs to get
groomed once. Love? Dedication? We’ll see if anything
changes once they are married in a month. The big sis
might be going for the mani/pedi routine solo. But as
I laughed at their errands goodheartedly, I told him
to make sure he drags her around town running errands
when she stays with him for the weekend. It’s only
fair. Me—I’m an equal opportunity believer.
So
maybe guys just suck it up and know that “girls
will be girls” and have certain things that they
like to do, though guys will never be able to understand
it. Just like guys have their things that girls don’t
get. They might complain about it, but eventually, if
they like the guy, they give in. Now I’m a big
Yankees fan, but one of the bonuses of watching the games
is when they put the camera on the grumpy woman in the
stands who you know just does not want to be there, but
is with her significant other. She is by his side, even
though she’s miserable.
So
is it a matter of getting the one we’re with to learn about our interests,
or just having someone to share them with, so we don’t
have to go it alone? I have hung out with guys while
they do work around the house, and wonder if I’m
in the way or not—but they invited me over…for
company. I kind of feel useless and awkward and, well,
bored, but I’ve stayed because I’m interested
in the person and when you want to be involved with someone’s
life, then you have to really involve yourself. Dating
someone and forming a relationship means really getting
to know someone—their likes, dislikes and all the
quirky things they might want to do. Whether it is polishing
up their pedi, flying to London for the day or camping
outside the movie theatre to buy tickets for the latest
Disney flick. They are things you’ll probably laugh
at afterwards, once you’re settled in a cozy relationship,
but when in the moment, when your desire to do these
things hits, you go for it. They don’t seem silly,
and it probably doesn’t seem like you’re
dragging him around. You really want him to share in
the experience. And if he is willing to go, then that
is certainly saying something.
So
that said, we probably all have some crazy thing
we’d
like to do, that none of
our friends would do with
us, but maybe a future boyfriend
or girlfriend might. Me?
Well, since The
Wizard of Oz has always been my favorite
movie, and I thought I could
be Judy Garland when I grew
up, I think it would be to
visit the Judy Garland Museum
at her birthplace in Grand
Rapids, Minnesota. Yep, Minnesota,
here I come. Any takers?
Dating Triumphs and Tragedies is published every Sunday by Online
Dating Magazine columnist Nicole
Roberge. She can be reached at NicoleMRoberge@hotmail.com.
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