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Dating Triumphs and Tragedies
Questions for Your Date
recently talked to a (married) friend about my dating
life, and how I had discovered that it always seems
to be me asking all the questions, which makes it
hard to get to know someone, or rather, for them
to get to know me, and ultimately, form a connection.
She, “Georgia,” told me that she had
read a book once filled with questions to bring on
a date that are a fun and interesting way of getting
to know another person. While I might be a little
wary of bringing a book on a date and again, “interviewing” someone,
it was a cute idea. It reminded me of teenage sleepovers
and asking your friends questions in the back of
magazines, but different of course. Now it was with
a guy who you hoped there might be some kind of chemistry
there was a spark to this idea. Some people go on
to dates with a list of questions in mind:» Where
are you from?
is your family like?
do you do for a job?
are your hobbies?
you have any pets?
» Isn’t this dating thing just draining?!
you get all those questions out of the way to know
the background of a person, to know the basics. The “getting to
know you” can establish what you might have in
common in how you were raised and how you live your lives
now. But in order to get to really know a person, it
can take a little time. Over a few dates, you can pick
up on little cues like what they order for meals, how
they treat their server, how they treat you of course,
body language, and what they are inclined to talk about.
But, what if you were to ask them some random fun little
questions that might get his mind going, conversation
rolling, and initiate a few laughs? It might be just
what the date needs, as you learn more about each other
while having non-boring conversation, and lead to a second
opened my mailbox the other day to find a little
package from my friend Georgia with a cute note about
dating, and it included the book “Coke
or Pepsi? 1000 coke or pepsi questions 2 ask your friends!” by
Mickey Gill and Cheryl Biddix. Curious, I opened the
pages and found myself reading questions and being
amused by the answers, or really having to stop and
think about the answers.
more I looked at the questions, I thought: These
are things that I want to know about a potential
date. They can be quite revealing in an unsuspecting
way. A simple answer of “Strawberry Frosted” to “What
is your favorite donut?” might mean he has a
sweet tooth, likes strawberries, or is a Simpsons fan.
Of course, you don’t want to read too much into
the answers, but this could be a really fun way to
lighten up a date and engage in funny conversation,
and overall just feel relaxed. Or, once you have been
dating a while, sit down and each fill out the questionnaire
and then share the answers. You might be surprised
what you hear. If you’re
really risky, and in the advanced stages of a relationship,
you can try and guess his answers. But remember, these
are personal in a way—preferences that might
go back to childhood—you may not always know
what he is thinking.
just for fun, I will put some sample questions here,
and as if we are on a date, I will answer them too.
Give you a little insight into my wacky ways. Hey,
no else is asking right now. Just kidding……..
or Dark Chocolate? Dark Chocolate
kind of shoes are you wearing? None. I hate shoes.
Which is probably why I got stung by a bee on my
foot the other day. Ouch.
place you’ve visited? London. And I’d
like to live there for a bit someday.
beverage? Pumpkin Spice Latte…too bad it’s seasonal.
would you try—skydiving, rappelling, or scuba
school—bully or bullied?
Neither, quiet and shy.
broken a body part? Yep, my wrist…when I fell off my bike, playing a stupid
game in my yard.
Cubes of Crushed Ice? Neither, I don’t like ice.
you believe in Big Foot? I liked Harry, from Harry
in the Hendersons. Good movie.
you run away from home when you were little? My sister
and I would sneak down to my neighbor’s house.
We though we were clever, but both my parents and neighbor
always knew first.
costume you’ve ever
worn? Dorothy Gale from the Wizard of Oz.
scared you as a kid? On Christmas morning, I was
afraid Santa might be waiting outside my door, so
my sister would always open it first and get my stocking.
Maybe I just didn’t want to get out of bed?
advice for a 5-year-old? Stay 5.
are just a sampling of some questions, and of course,
the answers are different for everyone. But it’s basically just the idea that
you don’t have to stick to the same standard questions
on dates. Mix it up a little. Sure, ask about his family
and his job and hobbies, but ask what his favorite childhood
memory was too. It might make him a little nostalgic
and happy that you asked and cared. People like to share
their good memories, and also their opinions on bizarre
and funny things, and then when they argue to prove their
opinions on those things, it can be funnier. “Coke
or Pepsi?” He might be mad that Root Beer isn’t
included, and then you might get an earful, so just be
prepared…for a cute argument that will probably
make you smile and happy that you asked the question.
The standards of dating have changed so much, so
should the questions!
Dating Triumphs and Tragedies is published every Sunday by Online
Dating Magazine columnist Nicole
Roberge. She can be reached at NicoleMRoberge@hotmail.com.
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