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 Dating Triumphs and Tragedies
by
Nicole Roberge
Boys
and Their Toys
There’s
something about guys and their electronics. They’re
always checking them out. What’s the new feature
on their Blackberry, how flat and high-def is their
TV, and what is the latest plug in for their gelectopod…or
whatever. Us gals, we like the simple things…or
at least things we can enjoy without having to focus
on constantly. We treat ourselves to something, and
we’re happy, but we can do other things without
reverting back to our new treat. But guys, they become
attached, and that, my friends, can get in the way
of not only a relationship, but also dating.
In
a relationship, you might be able to get over the
fact that when he’s watching football on his hi-def
TV, he has to yell out after every play, “Man,
that looks so awesome on high-def! I wouldn’t
watch this any other way!” Yes, yes, you
know hi-def is awesome. He loves his hi-def sports,
and you know you have your things, but it is something
that you have come to terms with and have accepted.
But
what about the darn cell phone? I was recently on a
date with a guy who told me ahead of time that he was
a bit attached to his phone. I told him I was more
of an email girl. So when we first went out, as I always
do with others, I put my phone on silent. We ended
up hanging out for a bit and eventually that phone
rang, so I said, “do you want to get it?” He
hesitated and then said “no,” which I was
a little surprised at. But of course, when you’re
attached to your phone, it means that people call a
lot…and ring it did. Eventually he thought it
was someone about work, so he did get up to get it.
Which was fine, I didn’t really care. At this
point we were just hanging out watching TV and I understand
people have lives. My phone was still on silent.
Anyway,
let’s jump ahead a little. Movie time, same guy.
One arm around me, the other arm on his phone. It rang
a few times, and he ignored the call. But no, he couldn’t
resist the text messages. So there we are, me, watching
the movie, and him, texting people. I asked him if
he wanted his other arm back so he could type, and
he said no, he only needs the one hand for it. Phew,
what a relief. Meanwhile, I feel like a bump on a log
sitting there watching a movie I didn’t even
want to see—like I’m just his arm rest,
saving up his hand so that can type when the other
is tired.
Don’t get me wrong, he’s a good
guy. It’s just a prime example of how guys think
they’re paying attention to you just by a gesture,
and can be completely not there. His focus was on his
electronic communicator, not the real live one he had
next to him. My phone, by the way, was in my purse…on
silent. I just thought it was a respect thing. If you
have to make a call or get in touch with someone, fine.
But when you’re getting to know someone, to sit
there with them and text message people, it just seems
a little impolite. Especially when he’s the one
who invited me and wanted to see that movie, even though
he had already seen it. It was just distracting. I
could have watched a movie I liked on my own, at home,
alone, and been quite happy with that.
But
boys like their toys. They become attached to them.
Girls get a bad wrap for always being on their phones,
but I see more guys always on their phones or text
messaging away, and I don’t know who they’re talking
to but they should just admit they have a problem and
get on with it. The thing is, try not to let it get
in the middle of dating, especially when you’re
just getting to know someone. First of all, if you
are just meeting someone for the first time, phones
should be off so you can focus on the person. But after
a while, just be respectful. If you go out with someone,
don’t talk on the phone the whole time while
you’re supposed to be spending time with them.
You did ask them out, right? Not your cell phone. If
you do find yourself in a situation where they guy
can’t break free of his phone when you’re
with him, then try getting in touch with him the only
way that seems to work best—give him a call right
there, and ask if he really wants to spend time with
you, or the phone. That should snap him out of it and
hopefully he realizes the mistake he’s been making
and what a wonderful date he has right in front of
him. Then turn that phone off...
Dating Triumphs and Tragedies is published every Sunday by Online
Dating Magazine columnist Nicole
Roberge. She can be reached at NicoleMRoberge@hotmail.com.
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