The Best Kept Secret

My friend recently told me that I’m the best-kept secret in Southeastern Connecticut. Wow. That’s sweet. When someone tells you that it’s like, yow, that’s great tiger. To know I’m this gem or something being hidden away from all these eligible bachelors…

Gimme a break.

If I were some best-kept secret, someone at least would be on a quest to find me. Romeo? Lancelot? The Headless Horseman?

Hello! I’m here! Waiting!

I can break this secret, you know? Why do I have to be a secret to begin with, and why am I the best kept one? At least she said Southeastern Connecticut, not the state of Connecticut. Then I might be in real trouble.

But the fact is, I am a secret, and perhaps I’ve been keeping myself one — hidden from those dashing men who are bound to save me…or just a nice guy I might possibly meet.

We all say we want to meet a great guy, but sometimes it’s easier to just sit back and wait for him to come to us…but when he doesn’t? That’s when your friend pulls the “best-kept secret” card. I gotta get out more.

People always say the “best-kept secret” when it’s something new and exciting though. Like, for example, when there’s a new product at the grocery store. It’s the best-kept secret in aisle 3… go grab yours now. Then the commercial will show an angry mob of women racing to get whatever the item is, which is really probably just a box of cheerios (i.e. me), but since it’s labeled the “best kept secret,” it’s gotta be good.

Or it’s that player on the local sports team that the newspaper calls “the best kept-secret” in their division, hoping that someone will take notice and have a look at the kid — and maybe a college scout will come along. Then he’ll say, “Hey, this kid is the best kept secret???” Whether he is good or not, that’s what he has been labeled, and then he will sign his name to a baseball contract.

Ahh…maybe that makes more sense. Maybe it’s not whether you are the best-kept secret or not, it’s just that you’re called that. You can fool people into believing anything. So here I am, the best-kept secret in Southeastern Connecticut! That’s step one. Step two is announcing it, and, well, I guess that I have just done that here. So step three is a little more tricky… that is finding the “Scout” to come along and take notice… and then sign me up for a nice big league contract… or at least a date.

So how many of you, or your friends, especially when you get together, talk about how you all have personality, charm, are cute and friendly…so why doesn’t he notice? I hate to say it, but it all goes back to putting yourself out there. Go ahead, cringe, I did too. It’s hard. It is. You are all the best-kept secrets because you do have that pizzazz, and your friends recognize it. It’s great that you have it, and it’s flattering, but deep down, it’s sort of upsetting, because you know that it’s not your friends that you want to recognize it. You want a guy to see it, to see you, and say, “Hey, I have the best kept secret in all of (insert town here), and she’s mine.”

So stop daydreaming. Just a little, because daydreaming is fun. Go out with your friends, but to an un-secretive area and let your best-kept attributes be known. Then when you meet the guy… go ahead and tell him, “I’m the best kept secret in all of Wallawalla.” Now that’ll peak his interest. Then he’ll ask you why, and what do you say? “Why, it’s a secret of course.” Insert his smile here. He buys you a drink. You start talking. You reveal one secret at a time, and he soon comes to realize why you are the best kept secret in all of Kalamazoo, because you are amazing, and you are finally realizing that you don’t have to be a secret anymore, and it is fun to let yourself be know.

As the relationship progresses, you can bask in the little secrets you create together, and then decide which will be the “best-kept” one, and which one you might let slip to your friends. Whatever path you decide to take, I wish you luck on your quest to demystify yourselves a little. To all the other best-kept secrets out there, let’s have fun unraveling.

Dating Triumphs and Tragedies is published every Sunday by Online Dating Magazine columnist Nicole Roberge. She can be reached at [email protected].

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