A
good friend of mine, and singer-songwriter extraordinaire,
Charlotte Martin (www.charlottemartin.com) has a
fun little song she wrote, poking fun at the things
girls do when a guy just doesn’t return his
affection anymore. She wrote it after an amazing,
8-hour long date, but then never heard from the guy
again. But, as most women are, she was determined
to… “find” him.
She
calls it her “stalker
song,” and it is a cute little ode to the things
women do, and aren’t embarrassed about at the
time, because they are so unwavering in their quest
for this man, but later might look back and say, “What
was I thinking?”
In
it, she charmingly sings:
I
don't think I like rejection of my little girl affections,
it's not dope.
I've been crawling on the walls just
hoping you will call while I've got hair and teeth.
It's not that I don't have a life
Maybe it's sad,
I'm sort of glad that
I'm normal, please date me.
I won't call you half as much as you call me.
I'm
normal, please date me.
I have only stalked a couple
guys, but they were not about surprises
Don't run
away cause baby I'm your dream.
We
don’t
like rejection, yet then we sit around and wait for
him to call. She just makes it sound funnier…while
we cringe and think, “Oh my gosh, but I really
do that.” We try to act cool, saying we won’t
call that much, but it’s usually an act. We want
to call, but we hold back, knowing that if we go to
any extremes, it might scare him off. But stalking
aside, in the end, he likes it, and he won’t
run away… because,
let’s face it ladies, we are that great — we
are his dream. :-)
At
least we hope so.
But
back to the chorus, the name of the song, the theme
here: “I’m
normal, please date me.” Who is normal? Anyone?
No? Yeah, me neither. We like to think so, and project
that idea, especially when first meeting a guy, but no
one is totally normal. Yet we pretend to be so, as we’re
secretly screaming, “Please Date Me!” It’s
only later that he finds out all of our quirks, but by
that point, they’re cute, and he knows us well
even to deal with them, and if we’re lucky, even
love them.
Then
there are the times when a guy catches us doing something
not so normal. I still think back to that time I
slipped on a piece of lettuce in the grocery store
and fell, then got run over by a grocery cart. Not
normal. Okay, that was fifth grade. More recently…okay,
even telling a guy that I’m afraid of lobsters
and my Mom used to taunt me with them and chase me with
them before she cooked them. Yikes, blank stare back
from guy. Can I redeem myself? Should I just blurt out
the line, “I’m normal, please date me!” Or
are there other ways to prove your normal-dom?
To
recover from your craziness on a date, when it’s with someone
you really like and you don’t want it to result
in a “nice to meet you,” and you think you’ll
see him again but you don’t and then you end up
stalking him…whew…as I was saying…to
recover from your craziness on a date, it doesn’t
have to be that complicated. You have to learn to laugh
at yourself. When I do something stupid, I usually call
myself a moron…because I am. Instead of just clamming
up or freaking out, I laugh at the situation, and then
he does too. It’s a bit of a tension reliever and
it’ll make him more comfortable with you too. It’ll
make him see that yes, you’re “normal.” You
do stupid things like normal people. You’re not
perfect. If you freak out, then freak out about it, he’ll
be freaked out, and think you’re not normal. Your
oddities make your normal. They make you you. And that’s
why he’ll love you…eventually.
So
be happy you’re “normal,” remember to say “please,” and
he’ll be asking you on many more dates to come.
Just be wary of lettuce and lobsters.
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