Dating Triumphs and Tragedies
by Nicole Roberge

Bed Space for Rent

Being a small town girl living single in LA is a little more bearable since my best friend from High School recently moved out here… and is in the same situation. See folks, it’s not just me. We live a little ways away — she is a beach girl, while I am a hermit — and so this past weekend, I went down to her place for a sleepover (no, we did not have a pillow fight). It was fun of course, because like most old friends do, we revert back to our thirteen-year-old selves when we get together. We did a whole lot of nothing; watched movies, lay around, ate pizza, did a bunch of complaining about being single... it was one productive weekend.

This is why we are single 20-something young ladies. All that time spent complaining about being single… we could have been out trying to meet people. But that would have meant… getting off the couch… putting down the pizza… turning off “Kate & Leopold.” What fun is that?

I do have to admit, I think I had more fun just vegging out for the weekend. It was relaxing, and I needed a weekend to destress. But as the lights went out at night, my friend commented on how she sleeps in the same spot every night in her bed, and never moves. I said I did the same, and that it was such a waste of space. Such a big bed, and no one to share it with… I’m going to start renting it out.
What a genius idea. No one else is sharing it with me, that’s for sure, I told her. And she laughed, and agreed, and we decided that it was a good idea. The next day we were driving and as we were cruising along, we passed a park bench with a sign on it that offered space to buy an ad for it. I told her we should put an ad on it. “What would we advertise?” she asked. “That we’re renting bed space,” I told her.

It was all really starting to come together. What is the point in having such a big bed if there is no one to share it with? I curl up in my one little spot and stay there. There’s definitely room for another person. And if that spot is not currently taken via the appropriate channels of dating, then I may as well be making some use of the bed space and a little extra cash.

So we’ll advertise. Then there will be an application. Background check. And then an interview process. Just a standard list of questions:

1. What time you go to bed?
2. What time do you wake up?
3. Do you ever get up during the night?
4. Do you snore, talk in your sleep or hit people in your sleep?
5. Are you going to spoon with me? (That might be okay)
6. Are you a kicker?
7. Do you steal the sheets?
8. What’s your favorite side of the bed?
9. Will you handle alarm clock and phone duties?

Then we will simulate a sleeping situation and see how it works. And if all is well, he could be a renter! Of course, in an ideal world, women could just meet a nice guy and over time, he’d eventually make himself a nice little mold in that side of the bed you don’t use. But things seem to be rather slow in the dating world. Maybe because it is fling season. People are moving in and out of beds so fast that they don’t have time to make molds. They’re just…mold. Maybe we’re really better off. I rather wait for a good mold to form over time than just have any old moldy guy there for a night.

I am going down to my friend’s again this weekend to ring in her birthday, and I told her that as part of her birthday present, we’d actually make a little attempt to go looking for a man. And maybe in the process, someone to fill some bed space. Or maybe I’ll just rent out her bed space for a potential future-boyfriend so she doesn’t watch “Kate & Leopold” and eat pizza... because that’s what I’ll be doing. While reviewing applications, of course.

Dating Triumphs and Tragedies is published every Sunday by Online Dating Magazine columnist Nicole Roberge. She can be reached at NicoleMRoberge@hotmail.com.

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