Dating Tips Advice Column:
Want to be More Than Friends

I met a guy off the Internet that is very different than me. I told him I that I think he is a nice guy, glad I met him, but that I don't think we are the best match before I met him for the second time.

Why? I've had many guys get too touch feely and close to me the second time and didn't want this one to do the same. We had a great time anyways and he said the friend thing was fine with him. Both times we met while he was with his friends, so it sort of has been like friends anyways. I didn't say that I just wanted to be friends, just that I didn't think we were the best match and didn't want to lead him on, but still wanted to see him.

I guess my head was thinking and was a little nervous, but now my heart is saying something else. I thought I just wanted to be friends, but now I like him even though we are so different, at least for now. We do have things in common and he is a great guy, enough so to overlook his flaws.

I've showed interest and he has too, despite of what I said. Is flirting enough with him or should I say something? I feel bad about what I said, but it was the nicest way I could of said it. I hope he doesn't think I prejudged him; it was only because of obvious reasons. I learned opposites can attract sometimes. I worry a lot and would like to know what you think I should do. I'm new at dating. Divorced for three years after an eight year relationship and I'm soon to be 29. I don't mind having him as a boyfriend for a while and see where it goes. What do you suggest? ~ Wanting More

Dear Wanting More,
Because you initially put limitations on the relationship, the ball is in your court. If you really feel strong that you want to pursue something more than friends then you need to tell him. From what you said, it sounds like he'd be receptive to the idea.

Tens of thousands of people have experienced a situation where they initially wanted to just be friends, but then developed feelings during that friendship. Having started as friends, you had the opportunity to get to know him more on a different level, that didn't rush into "intimacy". Intimacy too soon can ruin relationships because a lot of getting to know the other person is skipped over too quick. You set boundaries and now that you know him better, it sounds like you want to remove those boundaries. Don't be afraid to tell him so.

You also mentioned that there are many different things about the two of you that made you initially hesitant. Be sure to read my column on opposites attract.

Best of luck to you! ~ The Dating Tipster

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