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Dating Tips Advice Column:
Married Man Gave Home Phone Number
What Does that Mean?
Dear Dating Tips,
I met a man online about 7 months ago, and in
your one of your article's,
you talk about meeting a married man and how secretive
he
can be
in
hiding the
truth. Well this man I met online did tell me he was
married. We talk every chance we can, more so in the
evenings or late at night.
I'm not totally clear on
this situation, though, because I do have both his
home and work number. He recently gave me his work
number
because I called him there. I do occasionally
call his home phone when his wife is either out or
in bed.
What I can't understand is why would
a married man
give a
woman both his home and work number and never say to
her "not to call it?" What could this mean?
Although I will not tempt to call it,
I think of him as a good online companion and what
he does is up to
him. Does he not fear his wife finding out, or
is he simply trying to find a way out of the marriage?
Please
help me with this "desperately needed answer".
Married men, as a rule "do not" give someone
they have never met in person their number. What makes
it legitimate for him? And why? What are your thoughts
to this? ~ Doesn't Make Sense
Dear Doesn't Make Sense,
Before answering your question, I hope you fully understand
what you are getting into. The saying "once a cheater,
always a cheater" greatly applies here. It's hard to
understand why you would want to pursue anything with
this guy. If, by some chance, you ever ended up married
to him, you can eventually expect the exact same treatment
that his current wife is getting. You deserve and should
strive for better than that. Put yourself in his current
wife's shoes. It's so easy, sometimes, for us to think
of our own needs and desires that we forget to think
about those around us and consequences of our actions.
With that out of the way, here's are some possibilities
as to why a married man would give you his home phone
number (and allow you to call him there):
1) He wants his wife to find out.
2) He lives off the thrill of the danger of being caught.
3) He's planning on getting a divorce soon.
4) He's trying to "get even" with his wife for something.
5) He's dissatisfied with his marriage
and is looking for a "way out."
Whatever the reason, it's highly likely that he likes
the danger and wants his wife to find out (although
he many not admit this to you or even himself). You
may want to ask him directly why he gave you his home
phone number when he's married.
You may find this situation "exciting" because of
all the secrecy and newness, but those emotions will
soon change (as
they always do with people similar to your situation)
to jealousy, resentment, anger, and the
full knowledge that this is a man you will
never be
able
to trust.
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