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Dating Tips Advice Column:
From Friends to Lovers
Dear Dating Tips,
I have been going out with a particular man
for a couple of months. We have a blast together when
we
are
out. We have both been through a divorce in the past
year and a half. However, when we started seeing each
other
we were going out just as friends. But, here recently
my feelings for him have become stronger. I really like
him. He does not try to hold my hand or kiss me. Does
this mean he only still wants to be friends or do you
think he is just taking it slow?~
Wanting More
Dear Wanting,
It's impossible to know what he is thinking or feeling
without asking him. Yet some people feel vulnerable
in being so direct with such a question because of
the perceived implications.
There's three approaches you can take to this:
1) The Direct Approach
This approach is simply asking the person how they
feel about you and/or if they ever see things progressing
beyond a friendship. The direct approach, although it
may make you feel vulnerable, is the best way to
get immediate satisfaction in knowing how the other
person
feels.
2) The Hinting Approach
The hinting approach allows you to drop harmless "hints"
or comments and see how the other person reacts.
For example:
"I really value our communication. If I was to ever
get into a relationship, I hope the person is just
like you - thoughtful, handsome, and kind."
There are also hints you can do through actions -
"friendly" extended goodbye hug; grabbing his arm when
leading
him someplace, etc.
3) The Friend Approach
The friend approach goes back to elementary and junior
high days when a guy or girl would send their friend
over to see if so-and-so liked them. It's likely
that you and this guy have some mutual friends. You
may want to have one of those friends do some prodding
on your behalf to get a general idea of where he
sees
things
going. Now that friend may end up telling him that
you like him and sent him/her to get his response.
While you may not want that to happen, at least he'll
know you like him for more than a friend!
Overall, the best approach is probably the direct
approach. But if you feel very uncomfortable with it,
you may want to give one of the other two approaches
a try. Let me know what happens! ~
The Dating Tipster
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