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Dating Tips Advice Column:
When Should the First Phone Call
Happen?
Dear Dating Tips,
I've been emailing and messaging a really nice
girl for the past few days. I'm thinking that at some
point we should talk on the phone, but I'm unsure of
when to make that first phone call and what to say when
I call her. Is it too soon? ~
Phone Help Needed
Dear Phone Help Needed,
It's always interesting to study the differences between
online dating and offline dating. In offline dating,
two people may initiate a short conversation then exchange
phone numbers. In online dating there seems to be a
lot more caution as to when two people should chat
on the phone even though they may have already spent
hours emailing and messaging each other. And everyone's
different in this area. Some guys ask for a girls phone
number within one to two emails. My personal preference
is to get to know someone through a couple of emails
and messenger chats and if I see chemistry, then take
it to the next level.
In your case, it seems that the both of you may already
share a lot of chemistry online, therefore there's
nothing wrong with asking her for her phone number
now and giving her a call. If you've found your ability
to communicate through messaging to be extremely easy,
then there's no doubt that you'll also find talking
to her on the phone just as easy.
Here's an approach you may want to take. Next time
you're having one of your fun messaging chats type
something like "hey, how would you like to chat on
the phone?" Her response would likely be positive.
You can then get her phone number and immediately call
her (since you're simply continuing your online chat).
This makes it easy for you as you are not sitting on
her number wondering when to call and what to say -
you are naturally just doing it and continuing a conversation
you've already been discussing.
If you feel that you
need to be "prepared," then print out her profile
in advance and highlight her interests.
This is key to formulating questions for her based
on things she likes. And, as a general rule, do most
of the question asking. Most women seem to be much
more impressed with a guy who wants to find out
a lot about them versus one who dominates the conversation.
This also preserves a bit of "mystery" about you
that may intrigue her. Soon you'll find her suddenly
wanting
to know a lot more about you. Train yourself to be perceptive in conversations.
Listen carefully to what she says and ask follow-up
questions. This not only let's her know you're a good
listener, but also lets her know that you're interested
in what she has to say. Be genuine about this as it
is pretty thrilling to get to know someone you have
an interest in.
Finally, make note of important things she tells you.
For example, if she says her favorite food is Mexican
Food then there's a good indication of the first type
of place you should eat when you meet in person.
Make this time about her and just have fun. You'll
find talking to her to be quite as natural as messaging
her. ~
The Dating Tipster
If you have a question for The Dating Tipster,
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