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Dating Tips Advice Column:
Can Old and Far be Near and Dear?
Dear Dating Tips,
I'm a 49 year old Chicago gal, looking for a
nice man to settle down with. I have lived in Chicago
49 years and still haven't found what I'm looking for...
think that's a song, isn't it? Anyway, I have been speaking
to men from far away states, 500 plus miles; It's been
wonderful and I wondered if I could actually have a relationship
with one of them....in real life? What do you think?
What are the chances of that working out and if the chances
are ok, how can I help make it happen? Thanks. ~
Lovin, but Not Local
Dear Lovin, but Not Local,
Long distance relationships are a challenge, but if
the person is right for you then it can work.
First,
you have to approach the situation realistically
and ask yourself this question: If you fall in love
with this man,
will you be willing to leave Chicago and move 500
miles away? It sounds like you have deep roots in Chicago.
If you're not willing to consider moving in the future
and the man isn't willing to consider it, then the
ability to move your long-distance relationship to
the next level will hit a stale-mate.
Outside of phone calls and visits, here are some things
you can do to keep things alive:
1)
Little surprises. Out of the blue send him/her
via snail-mail a "thinking about you" card.
2) Love notes. If you visit the
person at his/her place, hide little "love notes" around
their place for them to find. If you mail them,
include a secret coded love note.
3) Care packages. On special occasions put time
and thought into a nice care package for the other
person. The more personalized it is, the more impact
it will have.
4) Flowers for special occasions. For
guys, when a special occasion arises, make sure a
bouquet of
flowers are delivered to her at home or work.
Alternatively you can have neat balloons or teddy
bears delivered.
Make her know that she is special and that you
are always thinking about her.
5) Learn to be expressive. Because your relationship
is long distance, you need to become good at expressing
your feelings through the phone, email, and letters.
6) Stay balanced mentally. Keep yourself always
mentally healthy and balanced by eating good and
exercising. You can even set a goal to look much
more improved before your next meeting as a "surprise"
to your significant other. But more importantly,
staying balanced mentally helps you to cope with
the distance issue.
6) Keep things fresh. Long distance relationships
can start to go stale after awhile when you
forget about the thoughtful things you did at the
beginning
of the relationship. Be consistent in expressing
your love for that person.
Also, look for good phone calling plans that don't
break your budget. For example, Costco sells 670
minute long distance calling cards for only $20
(can you tell I've done this before?).
Yes, long distance relationships can work and
have for tens of thousands of people. It takes
a lot of hard work, but if this person is the right
one then the payoff is big. ~
The Dating Tipster
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