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Dating Tips Advice Column:
How Can a Shorter Man Get Dates Online?

Dear Dating Tips,

Here's my problem. I'm 28, 5'2 and I have trouble finding a date. I'm fairly certain my profile doesn't come up in women's search results on the dating sites because of my height (does anyone actually put a minimum height of 5'0?) and after a year and a half of online dating, I've only been able to go out with two women. Most women do not respond and the ones that do usually say something like "You sound like a great guy but I'm looking for a taller man" blah blah blah. I don't want to lie on my profile but after sending hundreds of emails and trying three dating sites (Match.com, LavaLife, Cupid Junction), I just want to give up.

Online dating was my last resort. I didn't have any luck with the club/bar scene, and it seems all my friends/family seem to only know single women who are taller than me and not interested in me so I decided to try online dating; but it only seems to mirror my club/bar experiences. I truly believe I'm a great guy and a great catch... I'm single, never been married, no kids, great career with a six figure salary and living in my own apartment. Yet all of that takes a back-seat to my height. I don't know what other options I have other than to follow another dating site's advice to me, which was "keep your head up and you'll find someone eventually." What advice can you give me? Should I just give up? ~ Frustration Setting In

Dear Frustration Setting In,
You've asked an excellent question. Before getting to my response, you should probably know that men of regular height have many frustrations too with online dating. It's not unusual for great men and women to get frustrated with the online dating scene and take a short break away from it.

As you already know, the majority of women like to date men who are tall or at least taller than them. And while that may set you at an immediate disadvantage, it isn't an impossible challenge for you to find an incredible woman who looks at you for who you are and not how tall you are.

Here are a few tips that may help:

1) Don't lie in your online dating profile. Under the height requirement be honest. If you lie here, it will turn off the person you go on a date with and they may find the lying more of an issue than your height. After being honest under the height option, don't mention your height again in your profile. If people see you're concerned about it, then that may make them concerned about it too.

2) Work on getting into great shape (hire a personal trainer). Learn how to dress for success and purchase clothes that really make you and your personality. The goal here is to improve your outward appearance and self esteem. Your confidence and personality is what will help you win over women who may have initially been concerned about your height.

3) Consider hiring a service to write your online profile. There are several services that have a staff of creative and professional writers that focus only on writing online dating profiles. If you need help expressing yourself, try one of these services. However, if you're already a good writer then remember to be positive in your profile. Women are instinctivelly more attracted to men who are positive than those who are negative.

4) Learn things that build your personality and intrigue to women. Research shows that women prefer personality to looks so work on areas of your personality (humor, manners, etc.) that will improve you as a person. For example, you may want to take the time to learn magic. When on a date, doing some "table magic" (like asking the girl for a $1 then turning it into a $20 before her eyes and thanking her for dinner) really adds an interesting dimension about you in her eyes.

Most important is to not talk about your height to others. If you see it as a non-issue then those you impress will see it as a non-issue also.

Alternatively, you may want to take a break from online dating and start volunteering for various organizations that put you in direct contact with other volunteers. It's a great way to meet others while making contribution to society at the same time. In addition, it gives others the chance to know you for who you are, not how tall you are. Who knows, you may meet that special someone in the volunteer field!

Remember, women who find you to be intriguing and a good listener may develop an attraction to you despite your height. A dynamic personality and unstoppable confidence can win women over, even if you're shorter than other men. Work on improving the things you can and you'll see better success in the area of dating. ~ The Dating Tipster

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