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Dating Magazine > Columns > Dating
From the Inside Out > 69
 Dating From the Inside Out
by Susan
S. Davis
Spiritual
Equality in Relationships
As
we travel on the road and search to develop relationships,
it is often commonplace to become aware of various
kinds of spiritual views in the process. Whether
one considers themselves a “spiritual” kind
of person or not, it is inevitable that in this day
and age, we will run across some form of spiritual
movement – no matter where we reside.
Interestingly,
in the past thirty years of so, Western society continues
to struggle with the sex-role revolution that began
so long ago, in the 1960s. There is no doubt that
the disruption in the respective duties and place
in society, of men and women in relation to the "traditional
family," all the way to things such as the availability
of contraception, have all stemmed from, in part,
persistent feminist protests.
Almost
since the industrial revolution, “traditional” usually
has been defined by the concentric patriarchal family,
with men bearing the prominent breadwinner role.
For the most part, during that time, women’s
responsibilities revolved around caring for children
and running the household. As the feminist revolution
evolved, and as vast numbers of women entered the
workforce and improved their own education, the traditional
familial and societal roles of men and women began
to change. Roles of men and women in our society
today, are so diverse that they include all manner
and levels of duties for both. Thus, there really
is no longer any “right” or “wrong” way
to fun a family, or to live in general, as a man
or woman. Virtually all kinds of familial situations
have been embraced by our culture, from the more “traditional” mother,
father, child environment, to single living, single
parenthood, alternative relationships, and gay and
lesbian partnerships, all with or without children,
either born into the family, or adopted.
However,
although most women who have come up through the
ranks of the social sexual cultural revolution, will
acknowledge that great strides have been made in
developing autonomy, many women have been known to
say that they do not consider that equal partnerships
are commonplace within many of the romantic and intimate
relationships that they have been made aware of,
or have been involved in themselves.
Conversely,
it is also commonplace, that men have expressed a
growing dissatisfaction with their positions in relation
to women in our society as it is today. Despite the
changes in both culture, as well as the attitudes
of men and women toward their roles, it seems as
though inequality between the sexes still exists
in their lives together. Unfortunately, the inequality
sometimes does negatively affect intimate relationships.
One
of the ways to combat the onset of situations, which
may conceivably arise from inequality between the
sexes, with regard to dating and relationships, is
investigating how the spiritualist movement has approached
these types of issues.
One
good reference point to begin is with a book by Charlotte
Sophia Kasl, entitled If
the Buddha Dated: Handbook for Finding Love on a
Spiritual Path. The book takes
the perspective of devising tactics that involve
delving in to the purpose of romance, by confronting
some of the most basic psychic theorems, through
various spiritual philosophies and doctrines. The
areasaddressed
in the book include:
Preparation
for Love
Awaken Your Desire
Enter the Sacred Fire
Keep Loyal to Your Journey
Going Deeper
Living in
the Heart of the Beloved
With
topics ranging from the logical (”Using Ads, Dating
Services and Singles Clubs,” “Children
and Dating”) to the spiritually philosophical
(”Notice
the Flow of Giving and Receiving,” “Be
a Spiritual Warrior,” “Finding Love Beneath
Illusions”), the book is a simple, yet comprehensive
guide to the basics of the new spiritual alignment,
mindfulness and the metaphysical.
The
book includes quotations from Zen, Sufi, and other
wisdom traditions, as well as those dealing with
experiences of people from other walks of life, helping
to unravel the some of the complex affairs of the
heart.
Each
chapter is based upon having a more compassionate
understanding of the dating process; what it is,
why it is and what we can hope to gain from it. The
dating process is approached as more of an awakening
of ourselves, to better address the anxiety and uneasiness
of new love. Through that type of method, we may
more easily discover our potential for the kind of
vibrant human connection based on awareness, kindness,
and honesty that many of us seek.
By
taking a pro-active approach to the possibility of
inequality within relationships, we may actually
instead, attempt to develop ways to remedy situations,
before they begin. By endeavoring to do that, there
is less possibility that inequality will be allowed
to have an impact at all, which will in turn, foster
greater fulfillment in romance. Above all, we should
remind ourselves that when we live by some level
of spiritual guidance, accountability, or integrity
or whatever it may happen to be, we can offer more
depth of intrigue, curiosity and a light heart, to
the experience of the romantic journey.
Susan
S. Davis is a published book author
and writer, currently doing research for a romantic
screenplay she is writing. Her Dating
From The Inside Out column
is published every Tuesday.
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