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Connect
by Kim Lance,
associate publisher of Online Dating Magazine
Make Time for
Each Other
I’m sure at one time or another
you have felt that there just isn’t enough time
in the day. Have you ever gone to bed on a Sunday night
and wondered, “What happened to my week? It just
flew by!” They say time flies when you’re
having fun, but, unfortunately, time also flies when
you are extremely busy. When there just aren’t
enough hours in the day to get everything done, putting
off time with your loved one may seem like the easiest
solution, but, be warned, putting off time with your
partner may leave a serious mark on your relationship.
As anyone who reads this column knows, keeping up
consistent communication with your significant other
is the best thing you can do to keep your relationship
strong and growing. If you want to stay connected with
your partner, you need to make time to reconnect often,
through both conversation and physical closeness. Putting
off relationship time too often can lead to a disconnection
between a couple that only gets worse as more time
is spent away from the relationship. Because “couple
time” is so important to the development and
bonding of a relationship, here are some tips that
you can use to help you stay connected even when things
get busy.
Eat Meals Together
No matter how preoccupied you and your partner get with
day-to-day activities, there is one thing you both will
have in common every day – you both need to eat!
While it may feel good to catch up on with the world
news while having breakfast, get in some extra work time
during lunch, or watch a sitcom while eating dinner,
you are missing out on three potential opportunities
to connect with your partner.
It may not be possible to meet for lunch if you and
your partner work in different parts of town, but distracting
yourself with the newspaper or television during breakfast
or dinner does nothing to help you strengthen your
relationship. Make mealtime a time when you and your
partner free yourselves from outside distractions and
just focus on one-on-one conversation and interaction.
Talk about your day, things on your mind, and the beauty
of your relationship during dinner; don’t let
the television be a further separator between the two
of you. As an added bonus, you may even appreciate
your food more when you aren’t distracted while
eating.
Get on the Same Sleep Schedule
If you are finding it hard to make time for your partner,
you may find it helpful to get on the same sleep
schedule. If you are married or live together, going
to bed and waking up together is an easy way to give
you and your partner more time together. As you are
getting ready for bed at night or getting ready for
work in the morning you will be doing it together
and will find several more minutes for conversation
and closeness. Even when you are too tired to stay
up and chat, just being close while sleeping can
help you feel more connected to your partner as opposed
to going to bed by yourself or waking up by yourself.
If you don’t live together or are not married,
being on the same sleep schedule can still help your
relationship during very busy times in your lives.
You can schedule nightly phone calls for when you both
go to bed at night if you are on the same schedule.
By being on the same schedule you also make yourselves
more approachable to each other. You can call your
partner early in the morning on your way to work, the
gym, or class and know that you aren’t waking
him or her up. Being on the same sleep schedule is
an added opportunity for further connectedness, which
always helps to deepen relationships.
Carpool Together
This may seem virtually impossible at first, but, if
you have the schedule to make it work, driving together
may be a great relationship builder. In this day
and age having your own car seems like a necessity.
The freeways are packed with cars full of busy commuters
every weekday morning and evening as they go to and
from work. Your daily commute can be a frustrating
and isolating experience. Why not change your long
commute into a positive experience by using it as
an good excuse to spend more time with your partner?
If you and your partner have places that you drive
to on a consistent basis that are near each other (or
it isn’t too much of a hassle to drop one of
you off on the way to the other’s job, school,
or meeting) carpooling can be a great time to talk
and share with one another. Carpooling can also distract
you from the frustrating traffic or, if your commute
has a carpool lane, can even get you to your destination
quicker than if you had traveled there alone. If you
and your partner get to work at different times, it
may still be worth it to drive together, even if one
of you has to spend an extra half hour at a coffee
shop before work. Plus, by carpooling together, you
are also becoming more energy
efficient!
No matter how you fit the time in during the day,
the important thing is that you make sure your lifestyle
and schedule accommodate your relationship. If you
are feeling stressed out, don’t make time with
your partner the thing you give up, make it as high
a priority as your job or school, maybe even higher
priority. Continually giving up time with your partner
will only make you more stressed and can wear on your
relationship after a time. Even little bits of time
here or there, during dinner, while getting ready for
bed or work, or while sitting in traffic can add up
to quite a bit of time to connect with your loved one.
Always remember, we are in a relationship because
the people we love make us happy, help relieve our
stress, and lighten our moods. If you always keep this
in mind you will understand how important time with
your partner truly is, especially when things get hectic.
An hour of quality time with your partner can not only
lift your spirits but also strengthen the love between
you and further build the bond you have with one another.
Don’t let your busy schedule come in the way
of your relationship, use your relationship as a positive
balance and calming influence on your busy life.
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