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Connect
by Kim Lance,
associate publisher of Online Dating Magazine
Share Good Habits,
Not Bad Ones
One of the best ways to bond and grow
closer while in a serious relationship is to participate
in activities together. With an average of nine hours
spent at work, not to mention all the other “outside-work” activities,
sometimes it is hard to find time to focus on your
relationship. A great way to be able to spend more
time together and grow with your partner is to share
in some of your partners social habits, while he or
she shares in yours.
While this is a good way to strengthen your relationship
and find even greater common ground, it is vital to
make sure that the habits you are sharing are positive
to your relationship and not putting extra strain on
it. Remember, share good habits, not bad ones.
Sharing habits that are good for you as an individual
and good for you as a couple will bring multiple benefits
to your life and relationship. Sharing habits that
have a negative effect on you physically or emotionally
or can compromise the happiness and stability of your
relationship should always be avoided. Maintaining
a relationship always requires time and attention and
can be difficult at times… adding bad habits
to the mix will only make matters worse.
In order to get a better
idea of the pros and cons of sharing a “good habit” or
a “bad habit”, let’s take a look at
two very common lifestyle choices that individuals face
and that relationship partners can participate in together – daily
exercise and extreme alcohol consumption (a.k.a. “partying” or “binge
drinking”). One is positive and, obviously, one
is negative.
Share the Good Habit of Exercise
Health experts agree that in order to live a long and
healthy life, you must get plenty of exercise. If
you have already made this a habit in your life,
congratulations. Since you want your partner to live
a long, happy, and healthy life too, why not try
to make your exercise habit an activity that you
both can share.
Schedule time together several days a week to go to
the gym or get outdoors to get some exercise. Be there
to push your partner to jog that extra mile on the
treadmill or, if weight lifting is your style, you
can rely on your partner to “spot you” while
you lift. It will not only get you in better physical
shape, but will also build trust and commitment in
your relationship as you commit to a healthier lifestyle.
Whether its daily gym visits or weekend outdoor activities
like hiking, tennis, or swimming, exercise is one of
the best habits you and your partner can develop together.
Your work out will be another reason to spend time
together and, as an added bonus, the endorphins released
during exercise can often make you feel happier, which
is always good news for a relationship.
Avoid the Bad Habit of Extreme Alcohol Consumption
Having a drink or two on a particularly stressful day
may seem like a nice way to unwind and relax, but,
unfortunately, drinking has the potential to become
a very bad habit. It has an even greater potential
to become a bad habit when you share it with your
partner.
Just as going out to dinner with your partner every
night can contribute to weight gain, heavy drinking
with your partner several times a week can cause havoc
on not only your body but also your relationship. You
are more likely to argue and act irrationally when
lots of alcohol is involved but, unfortunately, alcohol
can be very physically and socially addicting.
If you notice that you and your partner are frequenting
the corner bar or liquor store more than any other
establishment, it might be time to break the bad habit
and rely less on alcohol within your relationship.
Communicating and connecting while sober will help
strengthen a relationship much more than while intoxicated.
And, although those wine induced conversations can
seem romantic at the time, they prove no benefit if
you can’t even remember what you talked about.
Other Good Habits to Share
Ok, enough with the negative scenarios. Let’s
focus more on the positive things you can share within
your relationship. If you and your partner are not
into exercising together, don’t worry, there
several other habits you both can share. Here are three
more “good habits” that you and your partner
can participate in to build your relationship and help
you further connect:
1) Reading
Read aloud to each other or,
if you prefer silent reading, each pick out a book
that
interests
you and set a time together in a quiet spot to
read. You can also build on your relationship communication
by sharing what you have read with your partner
and
vice versa.
2) Gardening
This habit will not only improve
your relationship, it will also improve the look
and feel of your living space. Take some time out
on the
weekend to get outside and make improvements to
your garden. As you nurture your plants, vegetables,
and
flowers, they will grow along with your relationship.
3) Learning
Just because you are out of
school doesn’t mean you have to stop learning.
If a thirst for knowledge is one of your good habits,
share
it with your partner by signing up for a class together.
You will share yet another thing in common and walk
away from it with greater knowledge on an endless
number of subjects.
Whatever your choice, the important thing is that
your shared habit brings the two of you closer together
in a positive way. By avoiding bad habits and sharing
good ones you will not only be providing a good benefit
to yourself, but you will be developing an additional
common ground you and your partner can share. Any additional
reason to share time together will further connect
you with your partner, and that’s the greatest
benefit of all.
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